What's a good phrase for "refining a process which is hopelessly broken"?

Question

I'm looking for a turn of phrase to describe a situation where the powers that be wish to continue making small improvements to a process which, due to deep-rooted flaws, will never be close to accurate.

I'm working on a process for estimating the states of business objects, and there's interest in fixing some edge cases which have been noticed. This could be worthwhile, but because of missing data we're already making heroic guesses. So if implemented, we might get from 80.0 to 80.1% accuracy. If we were at 99.5%, I'd be happy to get it to 99.6%, but in the current situation it doesn't seem productive.

We have some CS people on E.SE; what would you call it when someone wants to optimize a two-second process to load data, though once loaded it will be chewed on by an inefficient algorithm for hours?

Something like "bailing the ocean" or "fixing a leaky faucet in a burning building" is close to what I have in mind. There's also "rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic," but that carries an implication that the changes are wholly useless, and that events are coming to a head.

Related questions: “Saving on the parrot's chocolate is futile” ◊ Idiom: People caring about minor stuff while something terrible is happening ◊ An idiom meaning someone's doing something useless and has no result at the end ◊ Phrase for focusing on unimportant details — JLG, May 01 '12 at 02:31
Also related: Phrase or idiom for funnelling efforts in wrong direction — RegDwigнt, May 01 '12 at 08:22
@JLG: Wow, those are quite close. I guess I didn't consider the right synonyms, they didn't show up in my searches. Still, this thread has created some awesome responses. Thank you all! — , May 01 '12 at 13:10
Possible duplicate of Phrase for a small, legitimate fix for part of a system so broken the fix is unimportant — NVZ, Aug 27 '16 at 09:11

score 32 · Answer 1 · answered Apr 30 '12 at 23:47

32

That's known as polishing a turd.

answered Apr 30 '12 at 23:47

Jim

33,381

Yep, I've used that one myself, and referring to a process where we were doing some work reviewing a business process to make savings, but doing so under some stupid assumptions imposed by the higher ups that meant we were basically guessing. Ah, memories.. – tanantish May 01 '12 at 00:19
9

If you need to be nice about it, you can call it *gilding a lily*. – Wayfaring Stranger May 01 '12 at 00:34
2

@WayfaringStranger: “…To be possess’d with double pomp, to guard a title that was rich before, to gild refined gold, to paint the lily, to throw perfume on the violet, to smooth the ice, or add another hue unto the rainbow, or with taper-light to seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish, is wasteful and ridiculous excess.” – Jon Purdy May 01 '12 at 00:51
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I would never use this in a business setting. – JLG May 01 '12 at 03:55
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gilding the lily suggests that further improvement is unnecessary. I don't think that's the message Jon of All Trades is trying to convey here. – Pitarou May 01 '12 at 04:05
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-1: Can't see at all how this idiom can be used in an office, given its inherent vulgarity. – Bravo May 01 '12 at 04:33
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@Shyam: Not all offices are the same. – Adam Robinson May 01 '12 at 11:43
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@Shyam you work in the wrong office, and (in case you aren't a native English speaker) turd is pretty tame in terms of vulgarity. I wouldn't blink to hear my young children use the word. – Eric Wilson May 01 '12 at 12:10
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@Eric Wilson. I guess I work in the wrong office as well, then. And I am a native speaker. And I would blink. – JLG May 01 '12 at 12:14
I don't mind the 'c' word, but I loathe this one. – cornbread ninja 麵包忍者 May 01 '12 at 13:47
The 'c' word- you mean 'cornbread?' Yeah that's not so bad for me either. Seriously though, I learned this phrase at the workplace and it has been very common across pretty much all the companies I've worked for (high-tech engineering firms)- some with international presence. – Jim May 01 '12 at 18:13
@Jim, used how....in written documents? – JLG May 02 '12 at 15:40
@JLG: No not in written documents- These are all informal phrases not suitable for written documents (I wouldn't use 'tinker' in a written document either) But it is freely bandied about in meetings that include director-level/VP managers down to individual engineers. – Jim May 02 '12 at 18:40
"You can't polish a turd... but you can roll it in glitter". That is, we can't fix it but if we add enough shiny and sparkly things (ie "features"), people might not realise it's just a turd underneath. – Sepster Oct 15 '12 at 13:14
1

@Wayfaring Stranger Nope. Gilding the lily means trying to improve on perfection. Lilies are already beautiful, they don't need gold plating. – Bloke Down The Pub Aug 26 '21 at 18:46

score 10 · Answer 2 · edited May 07 '12 at 03:09

10

You can say you're putting lipstick on a pig. Or, you can say you're tripping over a dollar to save a dime.

edited May 07 '12 at 03:09

answered May 01 '12 at 00:47

Ann

101

2

Tripping over a dollar to save a dime gives more meaning than may be needed. Because it is not necessary that refining a process that is hopelessly broken will cost more than it will save --often by reducing the number of breaks it is possible to save at least some amount. So +1 for the pig phrase but -1 for the dollar phrase. – May 01 '12 at 04:57

score 8 · Accepted Answer · answered May 01 '12 at 07:46

We have some CS people on E.SE; what would you call it when someone wants to optimize a two-second process to load data, though once loaded it will be chewed on by an inefficient algorithm for hours?

In a CS context, I'd simply call this "premature optimization". The reason that phrase works is because, in that context, I'd expect most people to be familiar with this famous quote by Donald E. Knuth, or at least to have heard it referenced:

"Programmers waste enormous amounts of time thinking about, or worrying about, the speed of noncritical parts of their programs, and these attempts at efficiency actually have a strong negative impact when debugging and maintenance are considered. We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil. Yet we should not pass up our opportunities in that critical 3%."

If I wanted a more colorful term, I might call it something like "painting racing stripes on a tricycle" or, if it's about accuracy instead of speed optimization, perhaps "putting a laser sight on a nerf gun". A somewhat common security idiom would be "putting a vault door on a garden shed" or "a steel padlock on a cardboard box", etc.; the possible variations are endless.

+1, "a laser sight on a nerf gun" is about perfect! Yeah, it'll help accuracy, but it just won't help. Thank you! — , May 01 '12 at 13:09

score 5 · Answer 4 · answered May 01 '12 at 03:02

You didn't ask for one word, but I think what you're describing is tinkering.

Tinker can be defined as: To attempt to repair or improve something in a casual or desultory way, often to no useful effect. Or as: To make unskilled or experimental efforts at repair; To manipulate unskillfully or experimentally.

It has the connotation of not being effective and kind of skirting around the real problem.

You could say something like, "The powers-that-be continue to tinker with the process, when what is required is a complete overhaul."

There is an even better term: tinkering round the edges. – Pitarou May 01 '12 at 04:08 — Pitarou, May 01 '12 at 04:08

score 4 · Answer 5 · answered May 01 '12 at 04:37

There is only a limited improvement that can be gained from optimizing just a small part of some system or process.

This observation is known in computing as Amdahl's Law:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amdahl%27s_law

If part of a process takes 1%, and you optimize it so well that it takes no time at all, you've only improved the overall time down to 99% of what it was. Yet, by making something which is necessary and which takes time to take no time at all, you've practically performed a miracle.

"Using a motorcycle for the last 100 meters of a marathon" is an example.

Maybe this should all be called "Amdahling". :)

I like this answer; from a technical perspective, it's a great fit. (Unfortunately, though, the term might have to be explained to those with little prior knowledge of computer architecture.) Yet the O.P. asked for a way to describe "a two-second process to load data, though once loaded it will be chewed on by an inefficient algorithm for hours," so +1, even though more colorful and universally-understood idioms may exist. — J.R., May 01 '12 at 09:05

score 1 · Answer 6 · edited Jan 11 '13 at 09:32

1

The biblical quote that springs to mind is "swallowing a camel while straining for a gnat" (or something like that — my Bible-reading days are over by many decades — but I've always admired the vividness of the image).

edited Jan 11 '13 at 09:32

RegDwigнt

97,231

answered Jan 11 '13 at 06:28

Marc Wilson

91

1

Matthew 23:24. "You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel." (New International Version) "Ye blind guides, that strain out the gnat, and swallow the camel!" (American Standard Version) "Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel." (King James) You can just look it up. This is the Internet. – RegDwigнt Jan 11 '13 at 09:36
Yeah, I could look it up- but I'd have to care enough. I got the gist of it, which isn't bad for a book I've not picked up for over 40 years. – Marc Wilson Jan 11 '13 at 18:31

score 0 · Answer 7 · edited May 01 '12 at 13:30

0

How about "plucking a twig from a beaver dam"?

edited May 01 '12 at 13:30

apaderno

59,185

answered May 01 '12 at 13:20

Aaron Collie

103

1

I like that visual, but to my ears it sounds like the start of an effective process, like "a journey of a hundred miles starts with a single step." – May 01 '12 at 13:21
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Is that a recognized phrase? I've never heard it before. – Mitch May 01 '12 at 13:27

What's a good phrase for "refining a process which is hopelessly broken"?

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