Using the FANBOYS "for" in a series

Question

I have a sentence that is constructed the same as this one:

She bought food for a black cat, a white horse, a red dog, and a green frog.

However, I feel the comma does not give enough pause for what I want to convey. Instead of a series for which the comma is used, I would like more separation between each item when the list is read aloud. That is, each item is more important on its own than in the series.

So I wrote this instead:

She bought food for a black cat, for a white horse, for a red dog, and for a green frog.

I use for (from the conjunction mnemonic FANBOYS) in addition to the comma to create the pause I want. Is this so incorrect? Should I just stick with the commas, or is there a better way to represent a longer pause?

I have no idea what the significance of the word "FANBOYS" is in this context. Care to elaborate? — Asad Saeeduddin, Jul 16 '13 at 05:17
"for" of FANBOYS refers to the coordinating conjunction for (He ate, for he was hungry), not the preposition for (The food is for you). — Simon Kuang, Jul 16 '13 at 05:45
FANBOYS is a mnemonic device for for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. — Simon Kuang, Jul 16 '13 at 05:51
@SimonKuang From where? How is that useful? Seems too bizarre. No native speaker has ever been taught that way. Is this some ESL thing? — tchrist, Jul 16 '13 at 15:55
@tchrist It's taught in schools to help the students memorize the CCs. — Simon Kuang, Jul 16 '13 at 18:39
@Simon Kuang You're quite right. However, the FANBOYS approach is broad-brush: for a start, other coordinators exist. Wikipedia has: 'These are not the only coordinating conjunctions; various others are used, including "and nor" (British), "but nor" (British), "or nor" (British), "neither" ("They don't gamble; neither do they smoke"), "no more" ("They don't gamble; no more do they smoke"), and "only" ("I would go, only I don't have time")...'. — Edwin Ashworth, Feb 19 '15 at 12:25
Have a look at other threads here on ELU, especially Pitarou's answer (and the linked article) here. This argues that not all the FANBOYS are coordinators. — Edwin Ashworth, Feb 19 '15 at 12:27

score 1 · Answer 1 · answered Jul 16 '13 at 14:22

1

Your replacement sentence is perfectly grammatical, but quite formal. It sounds like you're using repetition as a rhetorical device, rather than something somebody would say naturally.

But to be honest, your initial sentence comes across as a little unnatural too. Why mention the colours of the animals? Why is this woman buying food for a cat, rather than the cat or her cat? If you recast the initial sentence in a more natural way, the ambiguity disappears:

She bought food for her cat, horse, dog and frog.

Does that help?

answered Jul 16 '13 at 14:22

Vince Bowdren

313

What’s a dog and frog? – tchrist Jul 16 '13 at 15:37
2

There's no such thing as a dog and frog; but the sentence doesn't suggest there is. It simply refers to the woman's four separate animals. – Vince Bowdren Jul 16 '13 at 15:42
Add a comma then. – tchrist Jul 16 '13 at 15:48
4

Not necessary; an Oxford comma isn't used so much in ordinary english (BE) these days. – Vince Bowdren Jul 16 '13 at 15:53
It just doesn’t look right without the comma. – tchrist Jul 16 '13 at 15:54
3

Clearly you use the Oxford comma normally. But this isn't relevant to the OP's question at all. – Vince Bowdren Jul 16 '13 at 15:57
Thank you all for your comments. I have learned several things here. It is nice to know my replacement sentence is formal and is ok to use. The sentence I am planning to use has a similar constrution. I wanted to use a simple sentence to begin my inquiry so the discussion would focus on the english rather than the content. – Jim Orman Jul 17 '13 at 03:33
Here is the sentence I am planning on using: "They have instituted poor checks and balances for the financial accounting for entitlements, for government department's spending, for foreign aid spending and for military spending." I would like to hear your comments on this structure. Thanks in advance. – Jim Orman Jul 17 '13 at 03:38

Using the FANBOYS "for" in a series

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