Should the phrase "Man up" be considered offensive?

Question

Liverpool Football Club have recently released a list of banned phrases, that they want the fans to avoid using. (Read the story)

One of these phrases is "Man up".

Why is this phrase considered offensive, and who is likely to take offense?

Related: Equivalent of man up for a female, Gender neutral equivalent of take it like a man, Help me stop saying Man up. — Kit Z. Fox, Jul 31 '13 at 14:40
It doesn't imply that it's better to be a man, cross-gender references are an almost unavoidable aspect of how gender is treated in English. Many of these kinds of phrases will cause offense in exactly those who are looking for it - my wife will occasionally tell one of my daughters to man up - it's an informal, short and pithy phrase and if you're offended, well, erm, man up. There are some genuinely offensive phrases in the list but this is more than likely going to backfire on them, cf. the Streisand Effect. — Unsliced, Jul 31 '13 at 15:42
Apparently the synonymous phrase "Grow a pair!" is still acceptable. — oosterwal, Jul 31 '13 at 21:45
In response to those claiming this question be opinion-based: I'm not asking whether the phrase is offensive- that's very subjective. I'm asking why anyone could find it offensive- very much more objective. — Urbycoz, Aug 01 '13 at 08:24

Amory · Accepted Answer · 2013-07-31T16:16:45.213

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From the article:

"The club have produced a handbook which highlights common slurs against race, religion, sexual orientation, gender and disability which could cause offence."

Man up, along with a phrase such as You play like a girl, imply that it is better to be a man/male and worse to be a woman/female. Would you tell a woman to "man up?" Using a masculine descriptor as a positive or the feminine as a negative is rather insulting to females/women. Similarly, the club has banned "gay" as an insult, as implying being gay is a bad thing is offensive to actual gay people. Same thing for racial epithets, which the club has already had an issue with.

A friend of mine coined(?) the phrase "grow some ovaries," which I personally like to use.

EDIT: The complete and rather offensive list can be found here

edited Jul 31 '13 at 16:16

answered Jul 31 '13 at 13:31

Amory

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+1 especially for your suggested alternative. I'd be interested, though, in the etymology on this of whether it's contrasting "man" with "woman" or "man" with "boy". – Thomas Jul 31 '13 at 13:43
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While there may have been some legitimacy to the LFC's decision that an objective insultation must be banned, your enthusiastical agreement with, and the call to gay's rights, makes your answer subjective, -1. You know, we don't make politics on EL&U. – Jul 31 '13 at 13:48
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While "grow some ovaries" is an understandable riposte to "grow a pair [of testicles]", I am not sure continuing the use of gender favoring phrases will advance the cause of equality or civility. – bib Jul 31 '13 at 13:49
@Thomas, Something like "Separate the men from the boys" is a good example where the phrase is contrasting "man" with "boy" yet still the overall sense is that being a manly male is the best thing around. Even if you throw in a "and the women from the girls" it still separates the genders/sexes. I suppose it's more about exclusion from the ol' boys club than direct sexism. – Amory Jul 31 '13 at 13:50
@Amory Good points. – Thomas Jul 31 '13 at 13:52
@bib: Theoretically I agree, but the usage stems from a similar POV as my answer here, namely that since the original phrase is so well known, using an opposing phrase carries a subtext beyond its simple meaning. – Amory Jul 31 '13 at 13:55
@bib, the problem is that sentences like "A friend of mine coined(?) the phrase "grow some ovaries," which I personally like to use." are supposed to be considered with no content and no more than polling. – Jul 31 '13 at 14:00
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+1'd to counter the unwarranted (in my opinion) downvote. Answers can include opinions, in addition to information. This isn't a clinical encyclopedia. – Avner Shahar-Kashtan Jul 31 '13 at 14:52
@Amory Incidentally, the use of "females" to mean "women" is frowned upon. It looks bad in an otherwise good answer. (Wouldn't normally consider this worth mentioning, but it seems on-topic in this case). – toryan Jul 31 '13 at 14:59
@toryan So, it doesn't apply to "girls" then? Just "women". – Urbycoz Jul 31 '13 at 16:01
@toryan and Urbycoz I'm not using females to mean women, I'm intentionally drawing a distinction between terms for sex (male, female) and gender (men, women). – Amory Jul 31 '13 at 16:19
@Amory for the record, I was referring to the bit that you just edited. So that's cool :) – toryan Jul 31 '13 at 16:23
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Quote from the link which made me guffawed: "Knob-jockey? The list of words I use every single day just grew by one" My definition? A DJ who plays door handles. – Mari-Lou A Jul 31 '13 at 16:52
oh @Mari-LouA, you'll be explaining your alternative definition - a lot! yikes! – Kristina Lopez Jul 31 '13 at 17:42
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@KristinaLopez make a great crosswords definition: What's one up? :) – Mari-Lou A Jul 31 '13 at 17:46
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@Mari-LouA, realizing of course that most jockeys "ride", not spin platters. 'nough said. :-) – Kristina Lopez Jul 31 '13 at 17:52
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Another option is to replace man with hominid. A shrill cry of "Hominid overboard!" (for example) is sure to draw the desired attention while avoiding quarrels over inappropriate gender or age specificity. – Sven Yargs Jul 31 '13 at 18:22
@SvenYargs Species is a social construct anyway. – Amory Jul 31 '13 at 18:41
Is it still OK to say "That's ghey", as in "Liverpool Football Club's list of banned phrases is ghey"? – oosterwal Jul 31 '13 at 21:44

score 5 · Answer 2 · answered Jul 31 '13 at 13:38

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It is likely considered offensive because it suggests that anything less than a particular version of "man" (decided by the person saying it) is inadequate, weak, etc. If a man needs to "man up", he is not a real man. The same applies to women - how can they man up? It is immediately condescending and can be considered sexist, misogynistic and prejudice because it can apply to anyone who isn't man enough in the moment, situation, group.

I personally don't find it offensive. It can be a great motivator. Political correctness...

answered Jul 31 '13 at 13:38

deecemobile

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It's also interestingly recursive; the people most offended by the phrase are the people the phrase applies to the most, and are also the ones creating this list. – Ask About Monica Jul 31 '13 at 20:04
To quote Shakesville, I'm not offended, I'm contemptuous. – TRiG Nov 13 '13 at 20:49

score -2 · Answer 3 · answered Jul 31 '13 at 15:31

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This is an imperative (note "You understood" subject) sentence. Imperatives are orders.

Any order issued without authority is offensive because the speaker assumes the power to control the behavior of the addressee.

This is an offense to the addressee's face, and to the addressee's freedom to act independently. In the military, one loses this right by agreement, so orders are common; but positive courtesy is still important. Outside the military, real orders are rare, because they are rude.

In this case, the impolite order is made worse by the sexist attitudes that others have described.
So, yes, it should be considered offensive.

answered Jul 31 '13 at 15:31

John Lawler

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I notice "Go away!" is not on the list. That's imperative too. – Urbycoz Jul 31 '13 at 15:40
It's certainly offensive. But probably not actionably so. – John Lawler Jul 31 '13 at 16:30
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what is up with all the downvotes? It's a perfectly good answer. – Kristina Lopez Jul 31 '13 at 17:45
Outrage at my heretical views on the subjunctive tense, or mood, which are accumulating downvotes elsewhere. If I were correct that English has no subjunctive mood, then everything some people had been told in Junior High English class could be ... wrong. Quelle horreur! – John Lawler Aug 02 '13 at 18:43

Should the phrase "Man up" be considered offensive?

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