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I emailed a professor at Harvard for graduate study and he said he was nearing retirement and recommended his student working in Minnesota. I was going to reply him. Should I use this as a beginning: "It is a pity for me that I could not have the opportunity to work with you and under you supervision" It feels so weird. Thank you all~

chen
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    Don't use it is a pity for me that unless you want to sound like a stilted Victorian. Just say "I am sorry that" or "I deeply regret that" like everyone else these days. – FumbleFingers Dec 23 '13 at 16:15
  • I'm afraid I can't explain why "it is a pity for [someone]" seems to have fallen out of favour over the past century. Perhaps there isn't really a "reason", but I didn't think I could justify posting an actual answer without some kind of rationale. I'll be interested to see if anyone else can provide more info. – FumbleFingers Dec 23 '13 at 18:05
  • @FumbleFingers I know that if people translate something that is an idiom in their language to English (and visa versa), the translation will include words that may be common and acceptable in the original language but not the exact synonym we native speakers may use in our culture. "Pity" may be one of those words. You can certainly still say, "that's a pity" in today's world but the OP's "It is a pity for me" sounds like you said, stilted Victorian. – Kristina Lopez Dec 23 '13 at 21:14
  • @Kristina: It does seem likely that OP isn't a native speaker, but the question text is sufficiently "natural" that I rather doubt he's simply trying to translate an expression from his own language. But it was mainly that "It feels so weird" that stopped me from closevoting as GR (should be on ELL). Any native speaker could confirm that *for me* is "out of place" here in today's English - but could anybody explain *why, given that this apparently wasn't* the case 150 years ago? – FumbleFingers Dec 23 '13 at 21:45
  • @FumbleFingers, what I have noticed is that we are less likely in our culture, (UK, US) to be as self-humbling as "it is a pity for me" "feels" to me. I would feel insincere and mealy-mouthed to utter such a phrase unless I wanted to overly convey my lowly station...or use it as sarcasm! I have, however, heard other English-speaking cultures use such phrases in recent times. – Kristina Lopez Dec 23 '13 at 21:55
  • @FumbleFingers your discussion seems to be interesting but could you tell me what does GR and ELL stand for? (I am Chinese and I am a she) – chen Dec 26 '13 at 13:34
  • @chen: Sorry - GR=General Reference, ELL=English Language Learners. What I meant was if you simply wanted to know whether native speakers would be likely to include *for me* in your example, that would probably be better asked on the learners site (the answer is we wouldn't, today). But a century or two ago, some people would, and exploring why that is so might be a more appropriate question here on ELU. – FumbleFingers Dec 26 '13 at 16:54

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"It's a pity for me" sounds self-absorbed and sympathy-seeking. Better to use "I regret missing the opportunity to..." which better conveys the sense of respect I imagine you wish to convey.

Chris Sunami
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Don't you think he already knows that you might be disappointed he is unavailable as a colleague at the moment?

Maybe you could just say something like, "Gotcha. I most certainly appreciate the recommendation! And if the opportunity to collaborate with you ever arises in the future, I would most certainly love to do so!"

Drew
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