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As proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, to lower the current MLDA is a difficult topic to discuss.

context: the Amethyst Initiative proposed to lower the current minimum legal drinking age (age-21) accompanied with educating young adults to drink responsibly.

Should I maybe revise the sentence like... Lowering the current MLDA, as proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, is a difficult topic to discuss.

mplungjan
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user66800
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3 Answers3

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As proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, to lower the current MLDA is a difficult topic to discuss.

This construction could imply that the … has proposed that … is a difficult topic to discuss. (I seriously doubt it is the case.)

Lowering the current MLDA, as proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, is a difficult topic to discuss.

This on the other hand, states that the … has proposed lowering the current MLDA … (This is more likely the case.)

HTH.

Kris
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  • One more minor nuance: as recast by Kris, I read this as "lowering the MLDA" is a difficult topic, and the AI has proposed it. If you drop the commas: "Lowering the current MLDA as proposed by the AI is a difficult topic to discuss.", I would interpret that as "lowering the MLDA in the way that AI has proposed it" is the difficult part...that there may be some agreement on lowering, just not the way AI wants to. – JeffSahol Mar 13 '14 at 13:55
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Both sentences are grammatical and understandable. I prefer the second as it puts the important information i.e. 'lowering MLDA' at the front. That helps the reader.

But I do think it is wordy. Do you actually need to include 'current', 'Initiative', 'as proposed by', and 'to discuss'. If this is part of an article, will not the reader already be aware of them.

Could you not get away with saying:

'Lowering the MLDA, per Amethyst, is a difficult discussion.'

WS2
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"As proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, to lower ("lowering" is better) the current MLDA is a difficult topic to discuss."

sounds like the Amethyst Initiative has proposed that the topic is difficult to discuss.

"Lowering the current MLDA, as proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, is a difficult topic to discuss."

is certainly clearer in this regard.

However, it is not clear why you are discussing the difficulty of discussing the topic, rather than the (complexity of) the issue/action/process itself. If this is what you want to do, then the second sentence is fine. But do you not perhaps mean something like:

"Lowering the current MLDA, as proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, is a controversial issue."?

or

"Lowering the current MLDA, as proposed by the Amethyst Initiative, would be a complicated process."?

nxx
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