36

I just realized there are some people around my workplace who

  • always try to correct me when using a certain word, saying that that's not how I should speak, and I should use other words (the ones they provide me with)

  • or pretend they didn't understand what I was saying, but it's pretty clear that they did understand. This again with the same purpose, of making me rephrase, or use the words they expect.

When doing this, they use, among others, the argument that they sure have understood, but others might not. But then, nobody else complains of not having understood what I was saying. Another argument they use is that even if they understood it, what I said was incorrect.

I make the assumption that when I express my ideas in words, I use enough details to get the point across.

I would call this type of non-constructive attitude a 'hater' attitude, but I'm curious whether there's a more specific word for this.

meta: I'm not a native English speaker, and I don't know a word for this in my language, I'd just use the dictionary to find out if my language has an analogous word. Anyway it would be good to know if there's a word for this concept in these two languages. meta: Also, the situations I refer to happen (mostly) when I'm speaking my own language, but the language really isn't the point here, because I do speak multiple languages and I did meet this behavior (though very rarely) when speaking any language.

  • 50
    If these people are your peers, they're pedants. If they're the ones paying you, they're editors. – Edwin Ashworth Jan 30 '15 at 12:24
  • 13
    The standard idiom for this is "*playing dumb", or, in the world of TV Tropes, "[obfuscating stupidity*](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ObfuscatingStupidity)". – Dan Bron Jan 30 '15 at 12:52
  • 1
    As an adjective to "pedant" you can probably add "bigoted". But take the high road. – Hot Licks Jan 30 '15 at 13:00
  • You appear, for whatever reason, and it may well not be your own fault, to be getting into conflict, of which the question of language is simply a means of expressing the clash. Talk to as many people as you feel able about this, and see if you can discover whether you need to be more assertive, more conciliatory, or something else, with the people concerned. – WS2 Jan 30 '15 at 13:02
  • 28
    Precision of language is often very beneficial at work, especially in a technical field. It speeds communication and reduces ambiguity. The "pretending" is most likely genuine confusion, where you think you have explained adequately, but there is still room for ambiguity in the listener's mind. I would try very hard not to take such corrections personally. – Karl Bielefeldt Jan 30 '15 at 14:01
  • 18
    "Can I go to the bathroom?" "I don't know, can you?" – User1000547 Jan 30 '15 at 14:03
  • 2
    Kura-kura dalam prahu/Pura-pura tidak tahu is the Malay pantun that deals with this attitude. In Indonesia, if somebody acted like that, people would nod wisely and whisper "Kura-kura dalam prahu" (which means "turtles in a boat", and is there to rhyme with the next verse, which means "pretends not to know"). – John Lawler Jan 30 '15 at 16:19
  • 2
    In English, this is called "peeving", if they're trying to correct your grammar or usage. And it's not their job to look out for other people not understanding you; it's their job to understand you in the first place. If they have trouble with that, putting it on other people is no help. – John Lawler Jan 30 '15 at 16:23
  • @EdwinAshworth Being pedantic about the use of words is not the same as showing off knowledge. It's more about what people believe to be correct. – Pharap Jan 30 '15 at 18:24
  • 6
    @vlad-ardelean They might genuinely be trying to be helpful depending on what words they are correcting you on. – Pharap Jan 30 '15 at 18:47
  • @Pharap I disagree. Pedantry involves the attitude that they have a right to correct you, an arrogance that their 'superior knowledge' (which may or may not be an accurate evaluation by them) must be imparted and observed. It's vastly different from constructive criticism. _Define Pedantry at Dictionary.com: the character, qualities, practices, etc., of a pedant, especially undue display of learning _. [bolding mine] // The related thread may not have the identical title, but contains the answer pedant. – Edwin Ashworth Jan 30 '15 at 20:08
  • 2
    Might be more suitable for workplace.stackexchange.com. You might do what British people do if they are not understood: Repeat what you said loudly and slowly. – gnasher729 Jan 30 '15 at 20:32
  • @EdwinAshworth The point I was making is that the question being asked is not the same as "What is a negative word to describe people that love showing off their knowledge", even if some of the potential answers might be the same. Also, I never said anything about constructive criticism. – Pharap Jan 30 '15 at 23:56
  • 5
    What 'certain' word, how did you use it, and how did they correct you? It would help us decide if your peers are genuinely trying to educate you on English nomenclature (of which many people are sticklers about) or are just being poop heads (and of course I'd like to know just how 'wrong' it was). If you worked with me and called a pipe wrench a monkey wrench, I'd correct you every time. – Mazura Jan 31 '15 at 05:28
  • 1
    As an occasional visitor to Montreal, I think 'Quebecois' describes this perfectly ;-) – Hugh Bothwell Jan 31 '15 at 06:25
  • there are some people، when you ask them a question if they don't know the answer they pretend not to understand what you are talking about, meanwhile they are thinking about the answer! – Saeid Jan 31 '15 at 15:00
  • 3
    Douchebag seems to fit here. – marsh Jan 31 '15 at 15:30
  • People like this are incredibly annoying and rarely worth speaking to. Unless you're saying "irregardless", in which case they're right. :) – KutuluMike Feb 01 '15 at 20:21
  • in technical fields semantics are more important than in most non-technical fields, so pedantry is actually a valid behavior. If you use the term B# when discussing music you would be rightly correcting you that there is no such thing as B# or ignoring you if they have corrected you before and you insist on using the wrong term, and using incorrect/invalid terms demonstrates a lack of comprehension of the subject, you should be more humble and take their corrections and incorporate them into your vocabulary. semantics exist for a reason. –  Feb 02 '15 at 03:36
  • If they know that you are a non-native speaker and still behave this way, then asshole is the perfect word to describe them. – Masked Man Feb 02 '15 at 03:39
  • Content vs context is something to be considered here. The word you use may mean one thing in the context in which you are used to expressing the content of what you are saying, but something else in the context in which you find yourself. – Dmitry Rubanovich Jan 31 '15 at 04:20
  • @Happy lol ok, but as specified in the question, in the meta part, this issue is not about the language being used. it's more universal :P – vlad-ardelean Feb 02 '15 at 08:30
  • "pretentious", "Feigning flawless-ness or perfectionist" would be used in this context – AMN Apr 21 '18 at 08:09

9 Answers9

48

You could call a person who does that a pedant:

Pedant (noun)

a person who annoys other people by correcting small errors and giving too much attention to minor details; one who unduly emphasizes minutiae in the presentation or use of knowledge (Merriam-Webster)

Nicole
  • 11,828
  • 18
    But be careful how you pronounce it. There are two ways: /'pɛdənt/ and /'pidənt/. If you use one, they can correct you to the other one. – John Lawler Jan 30 '15 at 16:21
  • 5
    And then you can correct them with the other one, they can correct you again, and you're trapped in an endless cycle of pedantry! – Nicole Jan 30 '15 at 16:24
  • 10
    That's pedantry. :-) – John Lawler Jan 30 '15 at 16:47
  • a “schoolmaster". – Misti Jan 30 '15 at 20:01
  • 17
    Without context, we have no way of knowing if they were being pedant, condescending, offering constructive criticism, or just covering there own behinds from blow-back. Correcting someone on their pronunciation of nuclear is pedantry. Correcting the use of word photon for proton, is not. – Mazura Jan 31 '15 at 06:01
  • 1
    @Mazura I signed onto this SE just to upvote that – dwn Jan 31 '15 at 12:16
  • @JohnLawler and definitely don't pronounce it /ˈped-ə-ˌrast/. You wouldn't believe how picky people get about that one... – RBarryYoung Feb 02 '15 at 01:35
34

Your question really poses 2 questions: one where coworkers try to correct you, and one where they pretend not to understand you. The currently chosen answer seems to handle the first question with @Nicole's pedant. However for the second I would submit:

Obtuse

Annoyingly insensitive or slow to understand: 'he wondered if the doctor was being deliberately obtuse'

18

A late answer, and it's a bit radical, but perhaps these people are genuinely trying to help you! Perhaps they seem themselves as friends, mentors, experts or educators.

Sometimes the use of the wrong word is not only confusing for listeners but also a signal that you don't fully understand what you are talking about. Those who deeply understand a domain tend to use language very precisely and can't help notice when others use wrong or loose language. By picking you up on your language, they may be trying to teach you about some distinction you seemingly weren't aware of.

You didn't say exactly what they were picking you up on, so I can't comment on your specific case. It sounds like you consider it something trivial.

  • 5
    While this doesn't seem to be the OP's interpretation of these people's actions and motivations, the details of their actions in the question really seem to support this interpretation. – Dan Getz Jan 30 '15 at 15:48
  • 4
    I would upvote this answer if this were a Workplace StackExchange question. – Digital Chris Jan 30 '15 at 15:56
  • 15
    In my own field (computers/networks) this happens a lot. People talk about "the internet", while they just mean the in-house local network. Or maybe just the mail-server. Confusion galore. They get pissed when I correct them or when I ask for clarification. In their own mind they are crystal-clear and I'm just being a pedant. – Tonny Jan 30 '15 at 16:22
16

Maybe "pretentious, punctilious, pompous, ostentatious, supercilious, hairsplitting, nit-picking...". My advice, keep it civil. Avoid placing the word "ass" after any of the preceding. Take the high road.

8

Passive-Aggressive is a good way to describe the behavior, if not the people themselves. You are communicating information. They willfully disregard this and take control of the conversation by focusing on how you say things. More, they won't respond until you use the words they want you to use. This is textbook passive-aggressive behavior.

6

Nitpicking: "minute and usually unjustified criticism"(m-w.com) pretty much describes your colleagues.

Thanks, I learned something, I would say it's better just to humor them and let it go one ear and out the other because life is just too short. Don't take it personally.

Hellion
  • 59,365
Karen
  • 81
  • Hello Karen, welcome to English Language and Usage. Someone else down-voted your answer, perhaps because it initially looks more like a supportive comment than an answer providing the word sought. Maybe because Nit-picking was suggested earlier. Don't take it personally :) – RedGrittyBrick Jan 30 '15 at 15:54
5

Obstinate person, or maybe 'Obstinate besserwisser' (or 'Obstinate wiseass') seems like a possible description to me.

Obstinate
adjective
1. firmly or stubbornly adhering to one's purpose, opinion, etc.; not yielding to argument, persuasion, or entreaty. 2. characterized by inflexible persistence or an unyielding attitude; inflexibly persisted in or carried out: "obstinate advocacy of high tariffs."

(from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/obstinate)

Since your meaning seems to be clear and you are not a native speaker, this sounds like a really rude behaviour. The intention might be good (education), but seems to come across as obnoxious.

fileunderwater
  • 227
  • 1
  • 2
  • 14
5

There's a scene in the movie, "2010," that comes to mind.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are enduring a challenging experience. The cosmonaut says, "Easy as cake!"

The astronaut corrects the cosmonaut, replying, "Pie! Easy as pie!"

Later, the cosmonaut says, "Piece of pie."

Again, the astronaut responds with, "Cake! Piece of cake!"

We weren't given examples of what the OP said that his colleagues corrected. We were told that English is not the OP's native language. English has idioms that are difficult for non-native speakers to grasp. What do cake and pie have to do with a task's level of difficulty, anyway? Still, the majority of responses jumped to the conclusion that the native speakers were probably just being jerks, so sure, go right ahead and cast aspersions - we'll even show you how.

I suggest that the OP take help where he can get it. The OP, however, should not forget to Доверяй, но проверяй.

5

"Captious" describes a person who consistently seizes the opportunity to pounce on other prople's (perceived) mistakes. Merriam-Webster defines it as:

Marked by an often ill-natured inclination to stress faults and raise objections