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When you learn about demonstrative pronouns, it seems like a really simple concept. This/these for nearby (physically, or with regards to time), that/those for distant things. Anywhere you go, online language sites, or Youtube, this is where the story ends mostly. But it seems to miss out on the trickier usage of demonstrative pronouns. I can't figure this out:

Here's a sentence:

Next week may change the rest of your life. And I don't say that/this lightly.

What would you pick? This, or that?

I picked "this", and it was incorrect, apparently. "That" seems to be correct, as in:

And I don't say that lightly.

What's the rule here, are we still talking demonstrative pronoun, near/distant?

Same as in this:

Check out this/that Youtube video: (LINK). What do you think of this/that?

The near/distant trick, either in time of physical distance, doesn't really help. Suggestions?

Now, this answer offers some guidance:

For a concept or idea introduced a few sentences before, I think the key thing is whether it was introduced by you or the person you're talking to. If you introduced it, you're "holding" the idea - use "this". If they introduced it, they're "holding" it - use "that"."

But really, how does it apply here? Do I hold up my previous sentence? I think so – so this should be correct, am I wrong?

Disclaimer: I'm not a native speaker, but my literary agent is (a seasoned writer). He suggested this was incorrect, and that is correct.

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James Stone
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  • The last two examples are run of the mill, see the linked question. Nothing advanced here. And for the first example, please specify who told you it was not correct, and what their reasoning was. "I don't say this lightly" is perfectly grammatical and perfectly idiomatic English. – RegDwigнt Feb 05 '15 at 09:44
  • my seasoned literary agent said that in his corrections ... I'm not a native speaker, he is (UK).

    EDIT: taken from your linked answer: "For a concept or idea introduced a few sentences before, I think the key thing is whether it was introduced by you or the person you're talking to. If you introduced it, you're "holding" the idea - use "this". If they introduced it, they're "holding" it - use "that"." -- so I would say, this is the correct word. I just referred to my own sentence.

     – James Stone Feb 05 '15 at 09:45
  • Also, the runner up answer on the linked duplicate addresses the problem perfectly (by Anderson Silva). Unfortunately, nobody weighed in on his findings, so it's hard to judge its validity. – James Stone Feb 05 '15 at 10:04
  • For the youtube example, where the link is given following the this/that choice, I think it has to be "this". I'd say "This example, which I am about to give, shows ...", but never "that example", when the example hasn't yet been given. – Greg Lee Feb 05 '15 at 19:42

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