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In the classic American children's show Spongebob Squarepants, one line in the theme song goes like this:

If nautical nonsense be something you wish

and it is then followed by the chorus.

My question is on the use of the word be in this context. Although it could simply be a form of silly, "pirate-speak" to be entertaining, I am wondering if this could be a form of the subjunctive. The sentence is asking if you might want to watch a show about hi-jinks in in the ocean (hence the phrase "nautical nonsense") and so thus is a hypothetical and in my understanding, hypothetical statements are supposed to be used with the subjunctive.

So, is this proper English grammar, or simply a sentence intended to sound funny? If it is proper grammar, then why has this usage largely disappeared?

SevenBits
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  • @EdwinAshworth I'm not entirely sure how to apply the information in the linked question to this question. I am not an English person, I'm afraid. Perhaps you could elaborate? – SevenBits Mar 10 '15 at 15:04
  • The general format If [noun] [copula] [noun or adjectival phrase] is formal, dated-cum-archaic with copula *be* in the subjunctive form. So given OP's example is aimed at children, I think the primary effect is simply to suggest the "unusual, exotic" speech peculiarities of old-time sailors and the like. Or perhaps it's supposed to get them used to the construction, ready for when they have to study Shakespeare's If music be* the food of love, play on*. – FumbleFingers Mar 10 '15 at 15:11
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    From Wikipedia: 'Other uses of the subjunctive in English, as in "And if he be not able to bring a lamb, then he shall bring for his trespass..." (KJV Leviticus 5:7), have become archaic. Statements such as "I shall ensure that he leave immediately" often sound overly formal, and often have been supplanted by constructions with the indicative, such as "I'll make sure [that] he leaves immediately".' Why some forms 'become archaic' (ie sound ridiculously old-fashioned) is not easy to answer. But avoid using this actual example. Except when you want to sound like a pirate say. – Edwin Ashworth Mar 10 '15 at 15:15
  • @FumbleFingers: also see this clip – Robin Williams Mar 10 '15 at 18:20
  • @Robin: Over thirty years old, and Blackadder's still one of the all-time greats for me! – FumbleFingers Mar 11 '15 at 15:01

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