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Oxford defines alpha male as:

A man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations

It doesn't define alpha female at all.

Since alpha female isn't a standard term, (despite being widely used,) I'm looking for an alternative.

What is a good way to describe

A woman or a girl tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations

This term

  • should not have negative connotations (any more than alpha male has)
  • preferably shouldn't be applicable to men.
Tushar Raj
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    Like similar word requests here in the past, you'll be hard pressed to find a completely equivalent term, because our culture does not treat genders equivalently. – Avner Shahar-Kashtan May 22 '15 at 12:02
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    'Alpha female' is perfectly fine, if you really must use such cliches. – Mitch May 22 '15 at 12:25
  • Mitch -- cliché? what are you talking about? it's a completely normal scientific term. – Fattie May 22 '15 at 12:35
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    Tushar - reading your question, your use of "alpha female" (and indeed "alpha male") seems whacky. Read some articles on, you know, animal studies or whatever. this is becoming one of those ridiculous questions. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pack_(canine) (plus any of another billion uses of "alpha female") – Fattie May 22 '15 at 12:38
  • @JoeBlow Words can have more than one meaning. Some of those might be scientific and stipulated. Others might be circumscribed by context (e.g. 'circumscribe) 'Alpha male' has a scientific meaning for animal behaviorists as you note. It has a metaphorical, cliched meaning for others, 'the big man on campus' or 'the dude who always has to be in charge'. The OP seems to be asking about the metaphorical usage. – Mitch May 22 '15 at 14:04
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    I really do not understand the antipathy against this reasonable question. It is similar to "female version of Don Juan", and questions like these are reasonable question to pop up as the standard, traditional role patterns in many English speaking cultures are shifting and thus the need arises for female expressions indicating traditionally "male" behaviour. – oerkelens May 23 '15 at 09:30

3 Answers3

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An option might be queen bee.

I've heard it in a recent song being used as "leader of the pack, independent woman in charge of everyone around her".

ODO defines it as:

informal A woman who has a dominant or controlling position in a particular group or sphere:
_Sarah was the queen bee of the Society circuit.

In the song Royals by Lorde, the expression is used as follows:

Let me be your ruler (ruler)
You can call me queen bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule
Let me live that fantasy

(Lyrics from MetroLyrics)

oerkelens
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    Good one. Upvote. Are you sure this isn't a pejorative? Take a look at the related words in your link. – Tushar Raj May 22 '15 at 12:02
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    It is often used in a pejorative sense; my guess is that any female version of alpha male will have negative connotations in any society were this kind of behavior is more expected/accepted from men than from women. However, it is not exclusively pejorative and at the same time, alpha male also has negative connotations. – oerkelens May 22 '15 at 12:07
  • I know. It's a sad state. I'm aware of the alpha male connotations, that's why I mentioned in the post: "any more than alpha male has" – Tushar Raj May 22 '15 at 12:11
  • Well, the any more is probably unavoidable as a result of culture, not of language. Look at the question(s) looking for a female equivalent of "Don Juan", and you will find the same problems with cultural bias. – oerkelens May 22 '15 at 12:17
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In matriarchal animal societies (elephants, e.g.), the leading female is typically referred to as, well, the

Matriarch [google definition]: a woman who is the head of a family or tribe.

In more modern slang, I've begun to hear powerful women in a group refer to themselves (jocularly) as the:

HBIC [Urban Dictionary]: The Head Bitch In Charge is a woman with unquestioned authority and gets what she wants whenever she wants it.

Dan Bron
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    Matriach is really good. But somehow I doubt the OP will approve of " Head Bitch In Charge", if alpha female isn't official enough:). Altough it did give me a laugh:) – laurisvr May 22 '15 at 11:59
  • @laurisvr I know, I just like the term. There are analogous ones for men, too. – Dan Bron May 22 '15 at 12:00
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    @Hehe yeah, it gave me a laugh:) What would be the male equivalent? Head prat in charge? – laurisvr May 22 '15 at 12:00
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    HBIC is derogatory, and I don't think matriarch can be used for someone who isn't a mother. Additionally, it has connotations of age. Sorry, but these don't work :( – Tushar Raj May 22 '15 at 12:01
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    @Tushar I think it can be used in a metaphorical sense. MW defines matriarch as: a woman who controls a family, group, or government. I doubt you're gonna find a better word out ther. – laurisvr May 22 '15 at 12:03
  • @TusharRaj Just as a ruling king, without or without offspring, is a patriarch, a ruling queen, with or without offspring, is a matriarch. And HBIC is a term of endearment, of jocular approbation, and as often as not self-applied ("Hey! Shut up! I'm the HBIC around here!"). But of course it's your question and you can use whatever answer you like. I won't be offended either way. – Dan Bron May 22 '15 at 12:05
  • @DanBron: I don't think many girls would relish being called HBIC. Matriarch has the additional issue of implying a not young age. Please keep thinking. Something more positive. – Tushar Raj May 22 '15 at 12:09
  • @TusharRaj I think we're gonna have to agree to disagree on HBIC (maybe you've not encountered it in the wild over there), but that's ok. Yes, matriarch implies age, because it takes time to develop the wisdom and trust of your peers, to the extent that they desire and welcome your leadership. This as opposed to alpha male or HBIC, which are positions obtained through superior force. – Dan Bron May 22 '15 at 12:16
  • @DanBron: I'm not disagreeing completely. HBIC is actually pretty close. I just think that "He's an alpha male" and "You're an alpha male" are equivalent. However, "She's an HBIC" and "You're an HBIC" are not. (I may be wrong. Am I?) I wouldn't say that last sentence to anyone, maybe due to the cultural divide. – Tushar Raj May 22 '15 at 12:43
  • @TusharRaj Here in the US I can, and would, say to a woman "Hey, you make the call, you're the HBIC around here". This is the same construction as calling a guy a "big bastard": a faux-insult used as a term of endearment. But such constructions, I grant, are a very American thing (here, expressing earnest sentiment in a public setting creates a kind of vulnerability). – Dan Bron May 22 '15 at 12:52
  • @DanBron: Did NOT know that. It's kind of a dysphemism, then. I see. – Tushar Raj May 22 '15 at 12:55
  • @TusharRaj Yeah, the American penchant for sarcasm is a kind of defense mechanism. A form of prophylaxis. If we take nothing seriously, nothing can be seriously hurt. – Dan Bron May 22 '15 at 12:58
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    I hadn't thought much about the term, but then I got involved with a big African family whose de facto head was not the "patriarch" but one of the daughters. Petite, no trees knocked over. The Princess, as everyone called her reverently (not as in "JAP"), is a humungous networker, for the good of the family, stray cats adopted like me, and pretty much everybody. People do what she tells them, she has natural leadership, authority, perhaps even a reality distortion field. If we cannot use the term "alpha" for her, I don't know when we can. It's how I felt it – I had to obey my Alpha. – David Pugh May 22 '15 at 15:20
  • @DavidPugh Heh, reality distortion field. – Dan Bron May 22 '15 at 15:22
  • @Dan: I would have credited Steve Jobs' colleagues for that, but I was short of characters. – David Pugh May 22 '15 at 15:33
  • HBIC is extremely sexist and derogatory. The concept implies that the only way a woman can lead is by being a "bitch" and it's distasteful to me. Particularly as the OP clearly states "no negative connotations". – Catija May 22 '15 at 17:06
  • @DanBron: Upvote for clearing up the usage of HBIC. I accepted queen bee, though. I discovered that Oxford does define it. – Tushar Raj May 23 '15 at 08:08
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An amazon may suggest the idea:

  • a tall, powerful, forceful woman.

The Free Dictionary