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Which of the following is correct - or are both of these examples grammatical?

  1. This includes me, my friend and my brother.
  2. This includes myself, my friend and my brother.

EDIT NOTE:

Pleas note that this question here: Rules for the usage of "me" VS. "myself"? only talks about the use of "myself" when it refers to the same person as the Subject of the verb. This is not the case in examples (1) and (2) above.

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Dhara
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    Almost always you want to use me there. – Robusto May 26 '15 at 11:24
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    My wife uses "moi". I use "pwah". – Hot Licks May 26 '15 at 11:40
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    (As stated below, "myself" can be used most places where "me" or "I" might be used. The choice is more a artistic one than semantic.) – Hot Licks May 26 '15 at 12:20
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    This might be as much about etiquette as grammar, but: I grew up learning that it's polite to put yourself last: "This includes my friend, my brother, and me." Although this might be changing (increasingly I hear younger people say "me and Joe") I think it's still good advice in professional situations. Since I think it sounds fine in casual situations, it's probably simplest to do it that way all the time. – Greg Hendershott May 26 '15 at 22:14
  • @GregHendershott Talking about "younger people" in that way just means you're getting older. When you (and I) were younger, older (than us) people talked about us in exactly the same way, I promise you. Other than that, I completely agree with you. – ClickRick May 27 '15 at 08:27
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    @user78469 Sure, but I didn't say "hey you kids get off my language". :) I think it's fun that language constantly evolves. If you meant I should have written, "people younger than me", I accept your correction. Anyway, I'm glad that for the most part, me and you agree. ;) – Greg Hendershott May 27 '15 at 13:51
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    fx: shakes fist "you and I"! ;-) – ClickRick May 27 '15 at 14:59
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    This is not a duplicate of the linked to question or the duplicate linked to in the close votes. There may be a duplicate somewhere, but it's most certainly noit that one. COME ON DUPE VOTERS read the questions and answers properly!! – Araucaria - Him May 28 '15 at 23:06
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    @Araucaria I agree, this is NOT a duplicate question. I have voted to reopen. – Mari-Lou A Jun 07 '15 at 06:08

2 Answers2

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I'm sure this is elsewhere, but in another form. It certainly bears repeating though.

You can (almost always) figure out which pronoun to use by removing the rest of the people from the list.

This includes me.

Obviously, if there is another part of the sentence, don't forget that the pronoun can be affected. "Myself" is reflexive, and so normally requires "I" to be the subject of the sentence.

I sent myself postcards from Spain.
I sent myself, Tom, and Larry postcards from Spain.

Reflexive pronouns can be used for emphasis (which is where my "almost always" goes horribly awry).

The kids did nothing when they got home from school. I myself had to sweep and mop after my hard day at work.

In short, for your example, use "me".

Cord
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    +1 This is the simplest and best test of when to use one or the other, which I have followed since about the fourth grade. Even Grammar Girl concurs. – Robusto May 26 '15 at 11:27
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    This rule works always. – John May 26 '15 at 19:51
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    I don't think the "remove the other people" test works at all. People who use "myself" where they should use "me" do it because they feel it is more formal or polite so they use it regardless of whether there are other people in the sentence. I get plenty of emails saying things like "If this is not possible, please come and discuss it with myself." – David Richerby May 27 '15 at 07:10
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    @DavidRicherby: How does your example of people writing incorrectly invalidate this test? – Ethan Furman May 27 '15 at 07:24
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    @EthanFurman Because it shows that people who misuse "myself" do so even in sentences where they're the only person mentioned. If they don't know that "discuss it with myself" is wrong, they can't use the test to determine whether "discuss it with John and myself" is wrong. You can only apply the test if you already know how to use "myself", in which case the test is redundant. – David Richerby May 27 '15 at 07:32
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    Your post is self-contradictary - as you point out! Your last comment is the one which explains whether sentence (2) is grammatical. Erm: it is!! – Araucaria - Him May 28 '15 at 23:17
  • @Araucaria Sentence 2 of the original post is not grammatically correct. – Cord Jun 02 '15 at 11:59
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    @Cord On whose say-so? Many of the greatest writers in the English language have used this construction. On whose study of what proficient native speakers do is this ungrammatical? No self-respecting professor of linguistics or English grammar and syntax would say so. – Araucaria - Him Jun 02 '15 at 12:15
  • The use of 'myself' in 'This includes myself, my friend and my brother.' can be (1) to stress the fact that some examples do exist (though 'putting the emphatic pronoun after the other components' might be felt more polite) (the emphatic usage does not need to be an appositive) or (2) as a hedging device (with a schwa for the first syllable) to get away from ME. – Edwin Ashworth Jun 08 '15 at 13:00
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Both are correct.

myself can be used in place of me or I in similar (informal) contexts - especially in compound subjects, objects and complements.

Alain and myself (I) got it right.

They requested Alain and myself (me) to watch for intruders.

This includes my friend, my brother and myself (me) - A little pointer here: for the sake of politeness, we place myself in the end.

Source

David Richerby
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Sankarane
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    Note that the British English entry lists this usage for "myself" as "not standard". – ClickRick May 26 '15 at 15:31
  • @user78469 - can you provide a link? – Greenonline May 26 '15 at 18:36
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    Using reflexive pronouns in this way has become accepted in a stylistic way to add emphasis; e.g. "I, myself, would never use it." In this regard, its value is wholly subjective. I find it rather affectatious rather than polite. – John May 26 '15 at 19:47
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    @Greenonline Scroll down the link above until you find the section "British English". I was referring to the British entry on the same page. – ClickRick May 26 '15 at 21:34
  • @user78469 It's not just British English: the first usage note says, "There is no disagreement over the use of myself and other -self forms when they are used intensively (I myself cannot agree) or reflexively (He introduced himself proudly). Questions are raised, however, when the -self forms are used instead of the personal pronouns ( I, me, etc.) as subjects, objects, or complements." – David Richerby May 27 '15 at 07:13
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    I think this is a poor answer because it doesn't mention that many people find the non-reflexive use of "myself" to be incorrect. – David Richerby May 27 '15 at 07:15
  • @David Richerby: My answer says it's acceptable in the informal contexts. Besides, I've added a source link right below in the comment section. I think we all agree that English is no longer goes by the "British Standards", simply because of the fact that majority of Anglophones live outside England. Cheers! – Sankarane May 27 '15 at 10:05
  • @Sankarane And your source says, explicitly, that the non-reflexive use of "myself" is questionable, in all varieties of English, not restricted to British English. I said nothing about British English. – David Richerby May 27 '15 at 12:33
  • The source says: Informal. (used in place of I or me, especially in compound subjects, objects, and complements). I agree it also says: "questions are raised, however, when the -self forms are used instead of the personal pronouns...". But just as the language evolves, they will most likely become acceptable, as in numerous other cases, I believe. 'myself' is a combination of two words, viz., 'my' and 'self'. So it makes sense to consider myself = me. – Sankarane May 27 '15 at 13:04
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    @Sankarane It was I who introduced the note about the British usage, and that was intended to show that while the non-reflexive usage is merely "questionable" everywhere else, it is considered unequivocally "not standard" in Britain. Further, you may be assured that it is untrue to say "we all agree": I live in England, I am English, and I speak English; I am far from alone in believing that it does not need qualifying as "British English" other than when talking to an international audience, whereas (as just one example) American English most certainly does. – ClickRick May 27 '15 at 15:07
  • @user78469 Thanks for sharing your perspectives. Let me make yet another assumption here: Most people know English sounds better, if it's British. True! – Sankarane May 28 '15 at 02:05
  • @DavidRicherby Yes, but they only find it incorrect because it breaks a rule they've been taught - not because their parsing machine gets stuffed up. It doesn't upset their inner grammar ear. – Araucaria - Him May 28 '15 at 23:29
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    @user78469 Sorry, that's just not true about British English. The top grammarians in the country - those that write academic grammars, not dictionaries, do not agree with you. What you have pointed out in terms of the source is the difference between the entries in the Random House and Collins dictionaries. These may be presented by Dictionary.com as British versus American usage - but it's not. It's just the different take of two different dictionaries. You'll find British and American English dictionaries of both opinions. It's best never to use dictionaries for grammar advice. – Araucaria - Him May 28 '15 at 23:33
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    @Araucaria All grammar is rules people have been taught. Everybody agrees that, for example, "dogs bark" is correct but "dogs barks" is wrong, even though both are understandable. Many people agree that non-reflexive, non-emphatic use of "myself" is incorrect, even though it's understandable. To write an answer that doesn't note that many people feel that a usage is incorrect is misleading. – David Richerby May 28 '15 at 23:51
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    @DavidRicherby That's completely untrue. Nobody is taught grammar rules. Grammar is the tacit knowledge that native speakers acquire without ever being taught anything at all. The study of grammar is the endeavour to undercover these rules that we all obey without consciously being aware of them. – Araucaria - Him May 29 '15 at 08:36
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    @Araucaria First, you say "it breaks a rule they've been taught" and then you say "Nobody is taught grammar rules." If you're going to flatly contradict yourself, we're all wasting our time. – David Richerby May 29 '15 at 09:04
  • @DavidRicherby Er, I did not say that! What I said was that some people objected to this perfectly grammatical use of so-called reflexive pronouns because they'd been taught a rule. You said that all grammar is rules that we've been taught. This isn't the case at all. This is why the fact that some people have been taught that this isn't grammatical has absolutely no bearing on whether it's actually grammatical or not. Grammar isn't the idiot rules or personal prejudices that people try to enforce on native speakers. It's the tacit knowledge that native speakers use when they actually speak. – Araucaria - Him May 29 '15 at 12:26