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I'm working on a book that is narrated by a young boy in the hills of North Carolina in 1960. It's written in first person. Careful and judicious use of misspelled words and imperfect grammar convey a lot about his character and does not overwhelm the reader.

Yet he soon describes a conversation among adults and I'm not sure how to handle the quotation marks and content of the dialog. Use indent, quotation marks, and correct spelling within the dialog? Or continue to present the story as told by the young, uneducated man, with no quotes and imperfect spelling?

I think it might be harder for readers to suspend disbelief when the young man's writing is suddenly interrupted by grammatically-correct quoted dialog. But it might be too extreme to not use quotation marks at all.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Diane
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    Despite this being about punctuation, I feel that this question will be better answered on writers.SE than here. You question is more about what effect the style choice will have on readers. – Mitch Jun 10 '15 at 17:27
  • Yes; this is not so much about 'English as it is used' as about 'creative novel use of English'. I wouldn't worry about 'what is correct' so much as 'what is going to be the best alternative'. You seem to have realised this anyway, but, as Mitch says, writers.SE is the place for this sort of discussion. One suggestion: 'He overheard X and Y's discussion: [indent]' – Edwin Ashworth Jun 10 '15 at 21:51
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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's about writing style, not the language itself. writers.SE may be a better place. – Barmar Jun 10 '15 at 22:17
  • If you haven't already, I'd suggest reading Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. It's written in a stream of consciousness style which I think mirrors what you are trying to accomplish. Another alternative is The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. – VampDuc Jun 11 '15 at 16:52

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I think you should lead them out. if the writing is clear already, maybe you could say...

uncle so so said that he was gonna go to the market

you know, just leave it out. if the boy was writing in a diary it seems unlikely he'd use quotations

Olivia Nolan
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The used words depend on whether the boy wants to tell the scene from his memory or if he recites the direct speech of the adults.

When you try to mock someone or to point out habits you repeat the words in the original or an exaggerated original tone, e.g. like a snob. When just living through the situation in your memory and describing the scene you might use your standard vocabulary, e.g. like telling your friends.

As for the punctuation you should stick to the general style the boy has, so it stays consistent.

If the part was written from third person view it should be correct of course.

Daniel
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