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As I was told to ask a new question, I better do. :)

On the Internet I read the folowing conversation: Question: Do people say No to mean they are in agreement with negative statements? Answer: We aren't using "no" to agree, we are using "no" to CONFIRM a negative statement.

So my question is does that mean: Mother: We are not buying a new car. Father: No. (he confirms) / Father: Yes. (he agrees)

But somehow I would think if the father agrees or confirms he would buy the new car? So why does he say yes if he agrees? I always thought the father would say yes if he would like to buy the car.

Somehow even in the threads that have been marked as duplicates I couldn't find an answer.

user183470
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    If you want it to be answered, read the linked duplicate question and come back with what you understand and what you don't with your own research. –  Jul 02 '16 at 12:40
  • I read it, not only your linked thread, and that is why I don't understand why no is for confirmation and yes for agreement to negative questions, as I would think no is for confirmation/agreement and yes for disagreement/no confirmation. But somehow no seems to be for confirmation and yes for agreement? – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 12:45
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    English speakers *do not* use "yes" to agree to negative statements. We use "that's right" or "correct" to agree with negative statements. I think you misunderstood what the conversation was trying to say. – Peter Shor Jul 02 '16 at 12:53
  • I found it here: http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/threads/239355-Agreeing-with-Negative-Statements?p=1251564&viewfull=1#post1251564 – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 12:56
  • The user seems trustable, as it seems to be a moderator. – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 12:56
  • Then, why didn't you ask the question there? Why do you ask here? –  Jul 02 '16 at 12:58
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    You misunderstood the conversation. Read it more closely. – Peter Shor Jul 02 '16 at 12:58
  • I read it times and times, can you please help me? I asked it here cause the thread there seemed to be closed. And I am a long time silent reader here. – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 12:59
  • Please edit the question to explain *exactly* what you don't understand about it. It's a relatively long thread, and I don't believe the moderator ever says that we use yes to agree with negative statements, something that you claim she does in your question. – Peter Shor Jul 02 '16 at 13:07
  • We explain how to answer negative questions here. Agreeing/disagreeing with negative statements works exactly the same way. – Peter Shor Jul 02 '16 at 13:10
  • Yeah Peter, but I still do not understand why there a moderator says that "we aren't using "no" to agree, we are using "no" to CONFIRM a negative statement.". I read your linked thread as you use no to confirm AND agree. – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 13:19
  • I think they're trying to make a distinction between confirm and agree. If somebody says so you're not going on vacation next week, we don't say no, I agree with you, we say no, I'm not going on vacation or no, I'm not. – Peter Shor Jul 02 '16 at 13:25
  • And all in all it is correct to say that we answer negative questions with no to confirm / agree and we answer negative questions with yes to disagree / to say it is wrong, correct? – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 13:39
  • Mother: "We are not buying a new car." Father, "No, we are not." or, Father: "That's right, we are not." Father would not say: "Yes, we are not." That's the way it is. See Peter Schor's statement above "English speakers do not use "yes" to agree to negative statements. We use "that's right" or "correct" to agree with negative statements. I think you misunderstood what the conversation was trying to say" – ab2 Jul 02 '16 at 14:56
  • Yeah thank you, got that. So all in all it is correct to say that we answer negative questions with no to confirm / agree and we answer negative questions with yes to disagree / to say it is wrong, correct? – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 14:59
  • Or is it better to say we confirm with "no, we are not.", agree with "that's right, we are not." and disagree with "yes, we are buying a new car."? – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 15:01
  • "We are not going on a vacation this year. We can't afford the time or the money." "Oh, yes we are going on a vacation. If I don't get out of here, I will go crazy." the point of this long example is in real life, people always amplify to eliminate confusion and to make their point. – ab2 Jul 02 '16 at 15:05
  • Yeah got that but still it seems like you disagree negative questions with "yes" and confirm/agree negative questions with no, so I wonder why the quoted part in my question says we don't agree negative questions with no. – user183470 Jul 02 '16 at 15:31
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    If you want to avoid ambiguity don't answer with a single Yes/No answer. Elaborate with an additional statement: (agreement) No, we are not buying a car. OR (confirmation) Yes, you've understood correctly, we are not buying a car. OR to contradict: "No, you've misunderstood, we *are* buying a car." – Jim Jul 03 '16 at 06:16
  • @Jim Thank you, but now you say you agree with "No, we are not buying a car.", but the quote in my question above says that "We aren't using "no" to agree, we are using "no" to CONFIRM a negative statement." So something is wrong there? – user183470 Jul 03 '16 at 12:12
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    There is the very simple matter that can respond to virtually any question with an ambiguous answer. This is doubly true when the question asks a negative -- "Are you not going to do X?" A yes or no answer is simply insufficient, absent some other clues from the answerer. – Hot Licks Jul 03 '16 at 21:12

1 Answers1

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The problem with responding to negative statements is that there are two ways of responding to them:

  1. You can respond with respect to the underlying thought.
  2. You can respond with respect to the veracity of the speaker's statement.

When given the statement, "We are not buying a new car" I can respond with,

  1. "No" meaning, "No we're not buying a new car." - I am responding to the underlying thought. And when we agree with the underlying negative statement we show agreement with a similarly constructed negative.
  2. "No" meaning, "No, we are buying a new car." - I am responding with respect to the veracity of the statement and indicating that the statement is false- we are, in fact, buying a new car.
  3. "Yes" meaning, "Yes, you are correct we are not buying a new car" - I am responding with respect to the veracity of the statement and indicating that the statement is true - we are not buying a new car.
  4. "Yes" meaning, "Yes, we are [buying a new car]." - I am responding to the underlying thought and disagreeing or correcting the misunderstanding.

As can be seen here it is impossible to correctly interpret a one word, "yes/no" answer to a negative statement because it is ambiguous as to which way the respondent is answering. (Sometimes tone of voice and timing can help in spoken exchanges). This is why native speakers, wishing to be as clear as possible, will often provide that second sentence with the appropriate elaboration. Or, if they don't, why questions like, "'No' we are or 'No' we aren't?" are often heard. (And similarly for "Yes").

What else can be done about it?
The questioner can also realize that they're setting themselves up for a possibly ambiguous answer and change the question:

  1. "Are we buying a new car?"
  2. "Did I hear that correctly? We are not buying a new car?"
    (Of course this isn't foolproof because the respondent can still answer the second question and not the first.)

The respondent can respond with

  1. "You are correct" (We are not buying a new car)
  2. "That's right." (We are not buying a new car)
  3. "Actually, we are buying a new car." - 'Actually' is used to introduce a contradictory statement.
  4. Precede the statement with 'fortunately' or 'unfortunately' depending on the "goodness" of the result:
    "Unfortunately, no, we have to keep the old one"
    "Fortunately, no, they were able to fix the old one and it should last for several more years."
Jim
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