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My child has Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. He craves attention. He has outstanding social skills, but he also has "leaky brakes" (underdeveloped ability to self-inhibit). Put all of that together and he takes every chance he can get to interact with peers at school, even when this gets him in trouble and lands him in the principal's office over and over again. I need a succinct way to explain the connection between his social skills and the attention-seeking behavior. He has the opposite of a "social skills deficit" -- a phrase one often sees in education and psychology.

What is a succinct expression of the opposite of a "social skills deficit"?

Edit:

I was asked to provide more information to enable people to give useful answers.

Reason I need this word or phrase: for communicating with school personnel, special education impartial hearing officer (similar to a judge), and U.S. Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights investigators.

The child thrives on social interactions and his social interactions are highly satisfying, both to himself and those he engages with. The problem is that has trouble sifting when to engage and when not to.

The school conducted an evaluation which determined that the child has "no social skills deficits." (Well, duh.) I need a succinct formulation to express the antonym of "social skills deficits." Here's an example sentence (the child's first initial is M):

M's _______________ and dysinhibition result in socialization which disrupts classroom activities; the school handles this disruptiveness in punitive ways.

And then I would go on to argue for the creation of a Positive Behavior Intervention Plan. (Which I have been requesting, every couple of months, for the past four years....)

One possible phrase that could go in the blank, that occurred to me as a result of the helpful answers and comments here, is

overabundant social skills

aparente001
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    Well surplus is the economic antonym. – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 06 '16 at 15:59
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    @BladorthinTheGrey Very well hedged. I can't see even Sherlock [wackily] claiming a "social skills surplus" – Edwin Ashworth Nov 06 '16 at 16:03
  • Surely 'He craves attention' actually overlaps with having a social skills deficit? But you may find 'he is overly effusive' less pejorative. – Edwin Ashworth Nov 06 '16 at 16:05
  • Whoever gave this a down-vote ought to explain themselves - this seems like a perfectly acceptable question. – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 06 '16 at 16:07
  • Wouldn't "extremely outgoing" be succinct enough? @BladorthinTheGrey I am not the downvoter. :-) But I think this question could be better suited on Psychology SE if there is one. I am not sure. –  Nov 06 '16 at 16:08
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    @Rathony Cognitive Sciences may be what you're looking for. Be aware that it does have quite a small community and if the OP is looking for a more language orientated answer, EL&U may still be for this question. – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 06 '16 at 16:14
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    I wonder if your child is blessed with musical skills as some people with Tourette's Syndrome seem to be. I believe that Mozart may have had TS. I recall that a biography claimed this was the case. – Peter Point Nov 06 '16 at 18:51
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    @PeterPoint - As a matter of fact, he is. He has a lot of other remarkable talents and strengths as well. I have often noticed that I feel like Superman's parent. I think that if I were to get stuck in the snow I could just ask him to pick up the front of the car and move it over a few inches. – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:08
  • "extremely extroverted"; "effusive"; "very friendly," "gregarious," "convivial", "good-natured". – ohwilleke Nov 19 '16 at 19:00

4 Answers4

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Speech Language Pathologist here. I work with kids with social language deficits, as well as kids with other language disorders and a variety of behavior and social difficulties. I would consider the ability to recognize (and have control over your role in) the kinds of interactions one has with others as an essential part of social skills, so what you're describing as your child's strength would best be described as "high sociability"--the desire to interact with others, and high degrees of interaction.

That being said, the antonym I would choose to answer your original question about the opposite of "social skills deficit" (but not describe the specific set of strengths and difficulties your child appears to have from your brief description) would be "high social intelligence," which is the ability to successfully navigate a wide variety of social situations across a wide variety of environments.

This article from Psychology Today has basic explanations of the concept of social intelligence, as well as some references to publications on the topic.

A caveat to my expertise here: when I see that a student has high sociability, no underlying language disorder, but is having difficulty in school because of difficulties with impulse control, lack of distinction between positive and negative attention, or other difficulties that are related more to executive function than language, I collaborate with special ed teachers and/or social workers. They might be able to give a more definitive and reliable answer than I can.

Also please note that I'm not intending to either diagnose or criticize either you or your child. My intention is to give a clear answer for your antonym request, but also note how the example doesn't completely fit the phrase request.

Katherine Lockwood
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  • Though this answer seems credible given your credentials, I am a bit confused: if it is high social intelligence which means his ability to *successfully* navigate a wide variety of social situations across a wide variety of environments is high, why does that get him into trouble and land him in the principal's office over and over again? – alwayslearning Nov 06 '16 at 17:00
  • "High social intelligence" is the antonym to "social skills deficit, " but doesn't apply to this specific child. Perhaps I should clarify the answer to make this more clear. – Katherine Lockwood Nov 06 '16 at 17:02
  • @KatherineLockwood - "High social intelligence" sounds promising. Help me understand the apparent contradiction you see. I'm intrigued. Here is my current thinking: In TS and ADHD, the reward system can be out of whack. He gets a small fix every time he has a successful peer interaction, therefore he craves them, to such an extent that he will seek them out to such an extent that he gets himself into trouble. (In TS and ADHD, self-inhibition is limited.) – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:11
  • Would "high social ability" work as an antonym to "social skills deficit"? I want to make sure the term I use is easily understandable by a [reasonably well educated] layman. – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:16
  • @aparente001, I'm getting a little out of my league here, but I would say the difficulty is that self-inhibition is necessary to maximize success (where a criterion of "success" would be not to end up in trouble at school) in social interactions, and would thus be a necessary condition of high social intelligence. For high sociability, the criterion of success would be enjoyment of the interaction (likely including a hit of dopamine). So someone can be highly sociable, but not succeeding (by extrinsic and neurotypical societal criteria) in social situations. – Katherine Lockwood Nov 06 '16 at 21:24
  • @KatherineLockwood - If I'm understanding right, high social intelligence would include the ability to use social skills appropriately, with appropriate modulation; the social skills themselves (which my son tends to over-use) could be called "high social ability" or "strong social skills"? – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:40
  • Here's a proposed explanation: child has a natural talent for successful social interactions; each time one of these occur, he experiences a chemical reward in the brain. In TS and ADHD, the behavior-reward system doesn't work properly, and his seeking out of social interactions does not get modulated by by an inhibitory thought "not right now while the teacher is talking." I wonder if I could work his OCD into that? – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:43
  • Note, it's hard to explain this to the school staff, who is used to working with children on the autism spectrum who have social skills weaknesses. They see him being successful socially and conclude there's nothing wrong. – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:46
  • @aparente001 - I would say that self-inhibition is a social skill. What I would describe your son's strength as is high desire to interact and connect with peers--I write phrases like this in "strengths" sections of IEPs and reports to describe kids who really enjoy interacting with peers, but don't always do so in ways that are accepted by the peers (and especially the adults) around them. Examples: a child who hugs peers without asking, and a child who gets attention from peers through clowning around. – Katherine Lockwood Nov 06 '16 at 21:47
  • @KatherineLockwood - Oh, you've misunderstood one key thing. His social transactions with peers (and adults) are HIGHLY successful. – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 21:48
  • Let us continue this discussion in chat. – Katherine Lockwood Nov 06 '16 at 21:48
  • I was reading an article about ADHD and addiction to computer games (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22843540) and this is going to help me refine my explanation. Quote from the article: "videogames activate the brain’s dopamine reward system, resulting in significant dopamine release during exposure to videogame playing." (I still have to work in the insatiability part.) – aparente001 Nov 06 '16 at 23:44
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His "gregarious nature" (or even gregariousness), perhaps? I think that captures a large part of what you're trying to convey, although it perhaps doesn't fully convey the part about other students enjoying it as well.

There's also extraversion, but I don't think that hits the mark quite as closely.

jeffB
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He is possibly oversocializing.

Wiktionary:

Verb oversocialize

(intransitive) to socialize too much

Verb socialize

(intransitive) To interact with others

alwayslearning
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He has overabundant social skills.

Overabundance: A going or being beyond what is needed, desired, or appropriate; an excess

(freedictionary.com)

aparente001
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  • Out of interest, since you asked the question, is this what you/your partner/his school etc. refer to him as? – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 18 '16 at 17:30
  • @BladorthinTheGrey - Do you mean, does anyone describe the child as having "overabundant social skills"? – aparente001 Nov 18 '16 at 17:31
  • Yes, is that how you would refer to him or is this just your suggestion as a future possibility? – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 18 '16 at 17:33
  • @BladorthinTheGrey - I have a one-page synopsis in my hip pocket which I send to teachers, summer camps, etc. The current version (updated in October) contains the following relevant snippets: Strengths: people skills, [....] Description: [...] overparticipates, blurts things out, echoes words and phrases, clumsy, [...] What's Helpful: [...] be creative with seating and seating partner, to minimize disruptive symptoms.... // For my closing argument, I was up against my deadline and I ended up not talking about this. My favorite description is the one written by his first grade teacher ... – aparente001 Nov 18 '16 at 20:22
  • ... in Germany when he was a guest student there for a month. Here is my spouse's translation to English of the relevant section: "(Student) is a friendly, attentive and self-confident boy, who establishes contact with people easily. He showed a lot of interest in the other students in the classroom, learned their names quickly, and enjoyed playing with them." Another great description is what my son wrote recently in his application for the Tourette Youth Ambassador training program:... – aparente001 Nov 18 '16 at 20:28
  • "I think I would be an effective Youth Ambassador because I have many interests that other kids can relate to. Also I have awesome social skills and I'm good at making friends. When I made the power point presentations about Tourette Syndrome at my elementary schools, I tried to make it as fun/funny as I could. So, if I were talking to a group of students, I would make a TS joke or make fun of myself in a positive way that's not offensive in any way. I see myself as a good public speaker." // If I misunderstood your question, please let me know. – aparente001 Nov 18 '16 at 20:29
  • That's some really interesting context, perhaps you should add it to the question. – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 18 '16 at 20:58
  • @BladorthinTheGrey - I thought "He craves attention and has outstanding social skills" summed it up concisely -- but apparently not. Could you suggest some key bits I quoted from the synopsis and the application essay that should be added, to paint a better picture? – aparente001 Nov 19 '16 at 14:30
  • I think that your first comment's 'Strengths' and 'Description' would some it up nicely, along with mentioning that it comes from you to his new teachers etc.. This would give some explanation regarding the terms you already use. – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 19 '16 at 14:46
  • @BladorthinTheGrey - I don't understand. Are you saying that in my request for a single word or phrase on ELU, I should quote from the synopsis and explain how the synopsis is used? Actually, my single-word or phrase request was motivated by my having to write a closing argument, see http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/355232/more-formal-word-for-know-it-all. But I thought that for this particular question I could skip all that background stuff. – aparente001 Nov 19 '16 at 15:59
  • Sorry, no, I think I've explained myself badly; what I mean to say is that it would help answerers to provide relevant answers if they were given a quick example of what you use at the moment and why that isn't cutting the mustard. For example, what term do you use to describe him at the moment? – BladorthinTheGrey Nov 19 '16 at 16:28
  • @BladorthinTheGrey - Okay, I tried, not sure if this addressed your suggestion.... – aparente001 Nov 19 '16 at 17:26
  • @KatherineLockwood - Does this answer work at all for you? – aparente001 Nov 30 '16 at 00:57