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Usually everyday I tell each patient,

  1. "Did you want a 3-months supply on all your current and future maintenance medications? As far as your prescriber and plan allow, we can go ahead and fill your prescription for three months. Is that OK?"

  2. "Would you also like to sign up for text alerts, that's the fastest way to let you know about your prescriptions status"

In a fast paced pharmacy it is very boring for a patient to listen to this and then decide if he or she wants that, so I want to be more persuasive, efficient and customer friendly.

I need to know how I can convey the same message but more efficiently even for the audience to enjoy what he or she would like to hear. Thank you.

Mari-Lou A
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user5036
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    We don't do proof-reading, paraphrasing, or writing advice. Please read the guidelines at Help Center again. Sorry, but your question is off-topic here. –  Jan 12 '17 at 08:05
  • The inquiries are fine, they're grammatical and perfectly comprehensible. I'm not sure about the term "prescriber" but that could be an Americanism. Your question is primarily opinion-based, which means anything goes, you could have as many as twenty different suggestions. "Great!" you might think, but those suggestions would only help you, they would not apply to a wide range of people. – Mari-Lou A Jan 12 '17 at 08:49
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    If you would like to keep the question open, perhaps you should propose your alternatives and ask if the same meaning is maintained. Otherwise, why not post your question on Writers.SE? It's worth a shot/try. P.S First check their What topics can I ask page though. – Mari-Lou A Jan 12 '17 at 08:51
  • Oh, before someone comes on me like a ton of bricks, the OP's phrases would be perfectly fine in speech, less so in writing e.g. 3-month, or three-month supply (no -s) – Mari-Lou A Jan 12 '17 at 09:00

1 Answers1

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The above statements are telling the user that we have a Schemes for you, would you like to have them?

As the OP requested, "To convey the same message but more efficiently even for the audience to enjoy what he or she would like to hear. Thank you."

If the user does not want to hear your Scheme, there is very less chance of having any effect of how you convey the information.

What you can do:

  • Greetings before the statements is a good choice.
  • If you think, that a scheme might be good for a user. You must tell them the benefits of the scheme to them and then tell them that the scheme is especially for them, as part of the long term relation, its an offer.
  • Then, ask that if the user wants to opt out of the scheme.

Opting out of a scheme which is useful for his own self is tough for a user.

Rahul Bali
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