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I know this sentence is a little awkward. Bear with me.

"I will kill whomever I despise." -- This one feels correct. However...

"I will kill whoever despises me." -- Is this right? Would this one also be whomever? Or is 'whoever' correct here?

TheBuzzSaw
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4 Answers4

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Well, if we compare the uses of the root words, "who", and "whom", we can easily determine when to use "whoever" and when to use "whomever". "Who" is used when the person in question is the one acting. Eg. "Who ate this cake?" (someone has committed the act of eating the cake.) "Whom", on the other hand, is used when speaking of someone who is not acting. "To whom shall I grant the privilege of eating this cake?". The "whom" is used to describe a person who is not acting. So, "whomever" can be used when speaking about someone not committing an action, and "whoever" when that person is committing an action. For your first sentence, you are speaking of someone who is not committing an action, therefore, "whomever". The second is "whoever", because they are committing an action (hating you). In short, both of your sentences are correct.

2

You asked for an authoritative source for why the usage isn't determined by the verb 'kill.'

My sources are:

a) The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation by the late Jane Straus

b) the book "When Bad Grammar Happens to Good People: How to Avoid Common Errors in English" by Ann Batko and Edward Rosenheim.

'Whoever' is the only correct answer in your second example.

Ms. Straus offers up a handy and infallible method to determine which is correct:

1) "play out" the sentence in question, and

2) make your pronoun agree with the verb in the dependent clause.

Her examples:

Give it to whoever/whomever asks for it first. [Dependent-clause verb is 'asks.' He asks for it first. Therefore, whoever is correct.]

We will hire whoever/whomever you recommend. [Dependent-clause verb is 'recommend.' You recommend him. Therefore, whomever is correct.]

We will hire whoever/whomever is most qualified. [Dependent-clause verb is 'is.' He is most qualified. Therefore, whoever is correct.]

So let's apply her method to your examples:

"I will kill whomever I despise." [Dependent-clause verb is 'despise.' You despise him. Therefore, you are correct: whomever is the right choice.]

"I will kill whoever despises me." [Dependent-clause verb is 'despises.' He despises you. Therefore, whoever is the right choice.]

As Ms. Straus notes, the likely reason 'whomever' sounded potentially correct to you is that "whomever is even more of a vogue word than whom. Many use it indiscriminately to sound cultured, figuring that no one will know any better."

In short: this frequent "look-how-smart-I-am" usage has gradually increased our tolerance for an incorrect pseudointellectual usage of 'whomever.'

Matter of fact, just last week I noticed it used incorrectly by both Frasier and Diane in a rerun of the old sitcom Cheers, and I shook my head, realizing that the writers wanted us to perceive both characters as highly intellectual and educated. So what better way to do that than write them a couple of lines of dialogue using an incorrect but awfully intelligent-sounding 'whomever?' :-)

FOOTNOTE: Here is a link to the trick on Ms. Straus' page, Grammarbook.com

And if you're not a fan of hers, like my friend @Araucaria, you can also see the trick's appearance in "When Bad Grammar Happens to Good People: How to Avoid Common Errors in English."

M. E.
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  • I haven't downvoted you, but please never ever use that book as an 'authoritative source'. It's full of bogus information, made up rules and factual inaccuracies. – Araucaria - Him Feb 14 '16 at 13:17
  • I appreciate you not downgrading me. And I accept that you don't agree with the book's content. But I think others may disagree with you. Here, for instance, a writer for the Washington Post cites the same book: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2014/08/28/whoever-vs-whomever/ – M. E. Feb 14 '16 at 13:36
  • Yes, shame on them!!! ;-) – Araucaria - Him Feb 14 '16 at 13:37
  • Perhaps you'll accept this as a more "expert" source. This trick is the same, but this time it's from "When Bad Grammar Happens to Good People: How to Avoid Common Errors in English." https://books.google.com/books?id=ygyFbU8h4BUC&pg=PA62&lpg=PA62&dq=whoever+vs.+whomever&source=bl&ots=i9iewELM33&sig=OuQkFzBjkssE2MBi5yMTV_V1tTU&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi3iYeCsffKAhVY0mMKHdNAD8A4KBDoAQhFMAY#v=onepage&q=whoever%20vs.%20whomever&f=false – M. E. Feb 14 '16 at 13:42
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    I added that source--and you--into the answer as a footnote, @Araucaria… ;-) – M. E. Feb 14 '16 at 13:48
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Both sentences are grammatically correct in that you've used the correct whoever/whomever in both. Break each sentence into two:

I will kill him. I despise him. [him + him = whomever]

I will kill him. He despises me. [him + he = whoever]

But the meaning differs between your two sentences. In the first you are saying you will kill people you despise. In the second you are saying you will kill people who despise you. Which is it?

Also, if you're a high school student in the US I wouldn't let my teacher see this.

Stuart Allen
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-1

I have a super easy method that I use to answer this riddle time and again.

Change the "who/whom" to "he/him" and try to make the sentence work. That way you can figure it out Basically the "M" will be consistent across both sentences. If the sentence works with "he" then the spelling you want is "who", other wise if it works with "him" the spelling you want is "whom".

You can do it a few ways and there are more precise grammatical rules but I personally find the consistent "M" to be the simplest method to quickly check in your head which word to use in a pinch.

Anton
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  • Please explain how this method applies here. "I will kill him. He despises me." = "I will kill ??? despises me." – herisson Aug 27 '16 at 02:09
  • So for example:

    You will kill whom? Who despises you? I will kill him because he despises me

    For the next sentence you are missing a subject or definitive article and it depends on which you intend to use the same way he or him depends.

    I will kill the person who despises me(he is the person who despises me), or I will kill whomever despises me(I will kill him).

     – Anton Oct 07 '16 at 16:04
  • But from what I understand, "I will kill whomever despises me" is not generally considered to be grammatically correct. – herisson Oct 07 '16 at 17:32
  • Then you understand incorrectly – Anton Oct 12 '16 at 11:09
  • OK, can you provide any evidence? Other answers with sources disagree with you, such as M. E.'s answer which says "'Whoever' is the only correct answer in your second example." – herisson Oct 12 '16 at 11:11
  • Snubians answer is incorrect, "me" is equivalent to "him" not "he", if it were "he" then the first person would be "I" rather than "me".

    Example: Who did that? I did that or he did that Example 2:It was Whom? It was me or it was him.

    The correct grammar depends on the sentence structure, not the question, the verb or the tense. "Whom" is the object, "who" is the subject of a sentence.

     – Anton Oct 12 '16 at 15:51
  • Here is a link to another question that I just found, http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/56/what-s-the-rule-for-using-who-and-whom-correctly?noredirect=1&lq=1

    It is a simple rule to abide by, "him, her, me, us, whom" is one set(objects) and the other is "he, she, I, we, who"(subjects).

     – Anton Oct 12 '16 at 15:59
  • Actually, "It was whom" is not generally considered correct either. Because the verb here is a form of the copula "to be," there is no grammatical object in this sentence so the nominative case "who" is considered to be correct, as it matches with the case of the subject. – herisson Oct 12 '16 at 17:18
  • Whoa, no, none of that is correct. In this particular sentence "It was whom" is the only correct grammar. By people who know their grammer it is considered correct. "Whom" is the object here, so "who" is not correct. There is only no object if you use "who" as you are mistakenly replacing the object with a subject. The verb does matter in the slightest, this has no bearing on the correct usage. The subject is always "who" because it is the subject, the object is "whom", as is always the case. This is not as difficult as you are making it. – Anton Oct 13 '16 at 11:30
  • Actually, it is pretty difficult--so much so that most native speakers are incapable of using the forms that are prescribed as grammatically "correct" in grammar books. Look at this page from the Purdue OWL, a fairly typical example of a prescriptive writing guide: "Use the subjective form after a form of the verb to be. Formal: It is I. Informal: It is me." (https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/595/02/) "Whom" is not the subjective form, so "it was whom?" is not correct according to the standard rule. – herisson Oct 13 '16 at 13:37
  • "Me" is not the informal form of "I" apart from the fact that it is more acceptable to use incorrect grammar in informal situations. Wherever you are getting all of this information, you need to stop getting information from there. You should also stop posting these fallacies on an forum for English usage. You should only use the subjective in that case, It is I or it is Whom. I am sick of telling you the same thing over and over now, and each time you come back with new wrong info. This ends, take the freely given information or stick to your mistaken guns, dont care, I'm out. – Anton Oct 14 '16 at 09:00