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I'd like to know which is the correct option:

He went to bed without my telling him to.
He went to bed without me telling him to.

I was pretty certain it is the first, but I am unclear on why.

Is telling a gerund or participle?

Lordology
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Diane S.
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1 Answers1

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" Telling " is a gerund here; it refers to the act of the speaker. Gerunds function like nouns but being born out of verbs retain verb like qualities of accepting objects or complements. A noun can have an attributive possessive adjective. A natural corollary to this proposition is that a gerund can be qualified by a possessive adjective as well. Hence WITHOUT MY TELLING.

Barid Baran Acharya
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  • Well yes they accept objects or complements. But they also accept subjects. Which is why "without me telling him to" is perfectly grammatical English. – RegDwigнt Mar 08 '19 at 19:29
  • My thrust was to prove a point to the inquisitor and never for once I said the other incorrect. The other one is informal, at times sounds weird as here in the example— excuse me my non-native ears. – Barid Baran Acharya Mar 08 '19 at 19:43
  • It's the possessive that sounds weird in this example. And indeed in most examples I can think of where the gerund has an object and follows a without. Anyway, that's beside the point. If both X and Y are fine, then you have to say "both X and Y are fine". Saying "X is fine, hence X" is not saying that. – RegDwigнt Mar 08 '19 at 19:53