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I'm fairly confident that some of the grammatical advice I've been reading recently is arrant balderdash. It relates to the distinction between the ‘who’ and ‘whom’.

I'm sure this is a classic case on this forum, and I'm curious to see if I'm mistaken or misleading information has been disseminated. Both examples are from Quora.

The first instance where a Quora thread contains possibly erroneous advice is when a user (Melanie Lee) implies that ‘you know who I'm talking about’ is grammatical. However, this appears to be the grammatically correct version: ‘you know whom I'm talking about’. In the relative clause of the example sentence, there is a subject pronoun, so the relative pronoun should take the accusative (a.k.a. objective) case. I'd also commonly say, 'I'm talking about him/her/them’, so I could easily say ‘whom’ instead. This rephrasing of the relative clause into a sentence should show my logic. The thread: https://www.quora.com/Shouldnt-Voldemort-be-called-You-Know-Whom

In another thread, a different Quora user (Warren Sentes) claims that ‘"Do you know whom it is from", is actually the incorrect use of the object pronoun’. I disagree! It seems absurd, as ‘it’ is the subject of the relative clause! The gender-pronoun test for grammatical cases can even be used here: it is valid to say that ‘it was from him/her/them’, so it is actually grammatically correct to also write ‘whom’ there as well. How can this be taken on as the top answer? The thread: https://www.quora.com/Is-it-correct-to-say-do-you-know-who-it-is-from-or-do-you-know-whom-it-is-from

Is there something I'm missing? I thought I properly understood this rule.

I appreciate any answers. Thanks in advance.

Tolga
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    Both whom's correct about 1930; both sound farcical nowadays. – Edwin Ashworth Sep 24 '20 at 18:58
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    Does this answer your question? What’s the rule for using “who” and “whom” correctly? (Ignore the accepted answer; nohat's is better.) (See also John Lawler's comment, but also the caveat that 'whom' is still usually preferred straight after a preposition). – Edwin Ashworth Sep 24 '20 at 19:00
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    The who/whom distinction (except immediately after a preposition) is essentially dead in English today. This means that native English speakers have no clue about when they should say who and when they should say whom, and they often get it completely wrong. It should be consigned to the dustbin of grammar, along with whither thou goest, if he be true, and suchlike expressions. – Peter Shor Sep 24 '20 at 20:21

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The second sentence would definitely be “whom” since the sentence can be reordered “It is from whom, do you know?” As a general rule, the preposition and its object should not be separated. Get rid of the “Do you know “. From whom is it or it is from whom both show that from needs the objective form.

Fredric Esper
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    "As a general rule, the preposition and its object should not be separated"? Who gave you this "rule", and do they know what they are talking about? (or should it be "do they know about what they are talking"???) As you see, sometimes you have to contort sentences horribly to put the preposition next to its object. – Peter Shor Sep 24 '20 at 20:03
  • Essentially, English is not given to rules, and such as there seem to be tends to be 'general rues' with hosts of exceptions. Peter Shor is right to say that 'whom' the so-called object case of 'who' is dead, or at least moribund. So is the rule of keeping the preposition in front of its noun. As Churchill ice retorted to a fellow MP, "That is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put." It is true that 'with who are you staying' sounds wrong (to me). But most speakers avoid it by asking 'who are you staying with?'. – Tuffy Sep 25 '20 at 00:14