I have looked for a single word to describe this feeling of what seems to be contradictory states of being.
I know a (very) little German, and searched there as it seems that language has more words to express complex emotions and feelings. No luck. This to me might help to explain it.
I recently watched a clip of a little boy that started really crying after seeing and holding a kitten. His mother asked him,
Why are you crying?
He could barely get it out...and said,
It’s just so beautiful!
