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I've just gotten behind the wheel at the car dealership. The sales rep continues talking: "This is your rear-window heater and here is your electronic parking break." This use of your rubs me the wrong way. (The rep may be projecting a sale, but I'm mentally rejecting a purchase. Neither the car nor the heater are mine.)

A bellhop opens my room and gives the tour of the amenities. "This is your climate unit, and your entertainment center is over there." This feels marginally better and more appropriate, because it's something that's temporarily mine to use. The same would hold for an explanation in a rental car that I'll be driving.

The closest I have come to identifying this usage is Quirk et al., A Comprehensive Grammar p.283:

Another determinative word used with typifying generic force is your

Your average football supporter is not interested in comfort.

In contrast to the, this use of your is associated with familiar speech; but it resembles the in its focus on the 'typical specimen' of the class.

Is my salesperson's usage just the same (but perhaps too) familiar speech? Or is (what I think of as) the "creepy your" different, and does it have a name? If so, is it specific to marketing language?

DjinTonic
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6 Answers6

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"This is your rear-window heater and here is your electronic parking break."

This is not the generic “your”. You can tell this by the fact that the salesperson will address you as “you”.

In this context, the relative adjective/determiner implies a potential personal control over its noun.

You would be able to see this if they added “… and if you glance upwards, you will see your self-dipping mirror through which you can see your spouse.”

This personalisation is a small psychological device that you will/ are intended to subconsciously translate as

"And when I buy the car, this is my rear-window heater that I will control, and here, when I buy the car, is my electronic parking break that I will control."

The problem of which the salesperson was unaware was that you happen to translate “your” as the informal/generic “any example of”, as in

“Now, friend, this is your common-or-garden rear-window heater.” Something that a salesperson is unlikely to intend.

Granted, in some cases it is not easy to discern the difference but the generic "your" is most commonly used of objects over which you have, and are likely to have, little control:

"Now your average camel is a flea-bitten, obstinate bastard that will spit at you as soon as look at you."

and used in very informal contexts, often to convey "interesting facts" or personal, expert, knowledge from the speaker's life experience.

Did you buy the car?

Community
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Greybeard
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  • I think it's more subtle than that - the salesman might be pretending to use the generic your while knowing your subconscious will hear the personal your. – Stef Aug 23 '21 at 08:45
  • It's not very sub on my end :-) I have mentioned this on occasion to friends who also don't care for this usage. I'm not saying I take take offense (I don't and the sales rep are usually very nice) -- it's just a bit of the chalk-on-the-blackboard, can't-help-but-notice-you-said-that feeling. – DjinTonic Aug 23 '21 at 11:30
  • It's also a common psychological trick to get you thinking of something as already belonging to you, so you will face some sense of loss if you fail to obtain it. – Cristobol Polychronopolis Aug 23 '21 at 19:24
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    I have also noticed (and always despised) this particular bit of marketing pop psychology. It is rank manipulation that occurs in many television ads, especially noticeable by the speaker's emphasis on the word you or your, or the phrase "get all the [whatever they are selling] you deserve!" Ick. – RobJarvis Aug 24 '21 at 12:40
  • I don't really agree that if someone is addressing you by "you" they cannot freely mix in the generic "you." If someone says to me "you can't win them all," I'm almost certainly not going to take that as being a claim about me, specifically, even if they call me "you" in the previous or following sentence. – Casey Nov 27 '21 at 19:01
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This usage is not specific to marketing language. Instead, it is common to familiar usage. As Collins notes:

your determiner
3. informal used to indicate all things or people of a certain type: your part-time worker is a problem. TFD Online

American Heritage (at same link) adds this note:

  1. Informal Used with little or no sense of possession to indicate a type familiar to the listener: your basic three-story frame house.

So it is general and informal, with the nuance of something that is familiar to the listener (I would add "to the speaker", since it implies a special knowledge of the subject.)

Note that the above description does describe many marketing communications, but the usage is so general that there is certainly no cornering of the your market there.

Addendum

As I mentioned in a comment:

... the salesman may also be trying to position the vehicle as, somewhat proleptically, belonging to the prospective buyer.

Whether this is what you're reacting to I can't say (and that is beyond the scope of this site anyway). But it is certainly common for salespeople to do whatever they can to have you "try on" ownership of the object being sold, although the line between that and simply using your as a more familiar-sounding determiner is blurred and possibly not something that can be determined in every case.

Robusto
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    That is why I cited the "typifying generic force" in the question. However, the feature being pointed out might be brand new, quite obscure, or specific to a certain model, and not at all familiar to me nor the general public. – DjinTonic Aug 22 '21 at 20:22
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    @DjinTonic It's not that literal. 'your' is certainly familiar here but in register. It has no connotation of something you are familiar with. – Mitch Aug 22 '21 at 20:25
  • Is there a distinction between the Oxford American's: "Your -- Informal - used to denote someone or something that is familiar or typical of its kind: I'm just your average Joe and "familiar" in register as in This is your temperature control? – DjinTonic Aug 22 '21 at 20:39
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    @DjinTonic: It is a blurry line, but it always seems to indicate that the speaker wishes to seem folksy in a familiar way. However, in the case of the temperature control, the salesman may also be trying to position the vehicle as, somewhat proleptically, belonging to the prospective buyer. – Robusto Aug 22 '21 at 20:51
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    @DjinTonic For the purpose of this Question, "your" has exactly the same meaning as "the" – Robbie Goodwin Aug 22 '21 at 21:02
  • @RobbieGoodwin Yes, the meaning is the same, but as Quirk says "...it resembles the in its focus on the 'typical specimen' of the class" So not exactly same in how it comes across. – DjinTonic Aug 22 '21 at 21:05
  • @DjinTonic How you interpret what you hear is one thing. Please be very sure, in standard native English there is not the slightest difference in meaning; only in regional, or more likely personal, usage.

    If you doubt that, why not try asking the same Question in English Language Learners?

     – Robbie Goodwin Aug 22 '21 at 21:09
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    @RobbieGoodwin As a native speaker, I have no doubt as to the meaning. That's not what the question is about. I have register as a tag. – DjinTonic Aug 22 '21 at 21:15
  • @DjinTonic Can you explain why you have register as a tag?

    Notwithstanding Quirk et al, it remains true that in standard native English there is not the slightest difference in meaning; only in regional, or more likely personal, usage. If you doubt that, why not try asking the same Question in English Language Learners?

     – Robbie Goodwin Aug 22 '21 at 21:27
  • Love the 'But it is certainly common for salespeople to do whatever they can to have you "try on" ownership of the object being sold. ' When teaching, an educational psychologist strongly recommended "Stop hitting Jenny, John, thank you" rather than "Stop hitting Jenny, John, please" to promote compliance. Get the desired result by conferred ownership. – Edwin Ashworth Aug 23 '21 at 11:07
  • Try on ownership like telling the woman in the store Slip into this dress and lets see how it looks or Slip behind the wheel of this baby! – DjinTonic Aug 23 '21 at 11:20
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This is unique to sales and marketing, but the psychological device is seen elsewhere. It is part of a sales technique called the presumptive close.

The assumptive selling technique, also known as a presumptive close, takes place when a salesperson intentionally assumes that the customer has already said yes to the sale. For example, an assumptive statement from the salesperson might be "give me your credit card and I'll get the paperwork started."

The assumptive close works well because it comes across as professional and is used as part of an intentional sales process. To implement it effectively, you must have a clear understanding of the customer's needs and desires beforehand. If you have listened well and matched the customer up with the perfect product or solution for their needs, then there is nothing more to discuss with the customer, except for how they intend to pay for their purchase.

(from https://www.thebalancesmb.com/assuming-the-sale-3887432)

The car salesman is having you envision the car as your own as you are literally in the driver's seat. It is not in fact your rear-view mirror or your car; however, the salesman wants you to make a psychological shift towards ownership.

rajah9
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  • One salesman of home products said the words *presumptive close" while getting out his order pad. A Dodge dealer also used the presumptive close, intensifying my dislike of their products. The salesman was trying to make me feel that I was letting him down by not buying the car. – rajah9 Aug 23 '21 at 12:01
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    Correct, and I said in the question "Neither the car nor the heater are mine." The technique is transparent for this very reason. I would point out that the usage can occur very early in the sales pitch, even just after I've arrived -- not even a test drive. Perhaps it's an opening gambit. (The rep may show me another model; is that "my" car too? The rep hopes so.) – DjinTonic Aug 23 '21 at 12:34
  • OK, so you might not literally be in the driver's seat. But isn't the salesman maneuvering for the Jedi mind trick? Instead of "These are not the droids you are looking for," he says, "This is the rear-view mirror you've been looking for.*" – rajah9 Aug 24 '21 at 12:19
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Here is the OED’s definition (along with a couple of usage examples) for the your that maps to the usage in Quirk:

B. adj. The possessive adjective corresponding to ye, you.
1. d. Used to designate a person or thing known or familiar to the person or people being addressed, or which is typical of its kind. Sometimes with derogatory implication. Cf. your actual —— at ACTUAL adj. 2b(b).
. . .
1978   Billboard 30 Sept. 48/4   Take your big stores for an example.
2010   J. STUMP r. P. Siniac Collaborators 66   Your Frenchman isn’t so prissy, everything cracks him up.

However, what you are describing matches the OED’s definition at:

5. Belonging to or associated with any hearer or reader; one’s. Cf. YOU pron. 8.
. . .
1981   N.Y. Mag. 16 Nov. 177/3   As you walk through the living room, you almost have to catch your breath at the view of the lake and distant mountains.
1992   Hamilton (Ont.) Spectator 30 June c1/4   Letting the rope feed through your hands is the essence of rap-jumping.

That is the possessive determiner form of what is known as the generic you.

So, I wouldn’t take it personally.

Source: Oxford English Dictionary (login required)

Tinfoil Hat
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  • In the 1981 example, when I read it I feel it equivalent to "As one walks through the living room". Perhaps the difference in feeling hinges on the fact that the "your" is addressed to me. The salesman isn't going to say "This is one's electronic break," but the "your" doesn't feel as neutral as the living room tour. – DjinTonic Aug 22 '21 at 22:04
  • Imagine This here’s your rear-window heater in parallel to This here’s your hook, and this here’s your bar in this passage (starting on the page above the yellow highlights). – Tinfoil Hat Aug 22 '21 at 22:51
  • Yes, it's definitely parallel, but when an adult is addressing a younger loved one IMO it has an intent and a perception that differs from a stranger or acquaintance addressing another adult. Just as the narrative "Imagine yourself walking..." These all could be addressing or including me (in the one case I am still a child), but I feel them all differently and I think it's built into the intent/usage, not just my imagination or perception. – DjinTonic Aug 23 '21 at 00:52
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It is easy to imagine the same usage in a TV program about cars. So it's not a personal your. But it's not the same as Your average football supporter, either. It is an indefinite personal possessive pronoun.

Wiktionary has this as its sixth definition for you:

(indefinite personal pronoun) Anyone, one; an unspecified individual or group of individuals (as subject or object).

For example, "You can't always get what you want." It's not creepy at all.

If we can imagine Prince Andrew reduced to the rank of car salesman, it might go like this:

This is one's rear-window heater and here is one's electronic parking brake.

To my ears, this has exactly the same meaning as the OP's example sentence.

TonyK
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  • If I say It's a shame this model doesn't come in that model's metallic blue and the rep says Yes, but unfortunately, you can't always get what you want, I take it as a saying that applies to my case. This is the electronic parking brake and the unlikely This is one's electronic parking brake do have the same meaning as This is your electronic parking brake but lack the folksy register, which some like me, but clearly not, all find a little off-putting. – DjinTonic Aug 23 '21 at 11:09
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    @DjinTonic: I think even in your context You can't always get what you want is the indefinite personal pronoun. Otherwise it would be intrusive to my ears, if not bossy. Having said that, it seems that we are in broad agreement here. – TonyK Aug 23 '21 at 11:23
  • I agree completely. I meant to distinguish it from the "off-putting" case. – DjinTonic Aug 23 '21 at 11:25
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In these contexts, your is most definitely not a vehicle of 'typifying generic force'. In fact, it is the opposite of that: the salesperson is trying to create in your mind an illusion that there is some sort of a special bond between you and the object that is offered for sale.

As has already been pointed out in more than one answer, one psychological mechanism of creating that bond would be to get you to think of the car as if you already owned it. By using your the salesperson may be trying to accomplish that, and thus weaken your resistance to buying the car. It is possible, however, that another mechanism is at work.

Consider ordering a hamburger in a restaurant. The waiter might ask 'How would you like your hamburger?' or 'What would you like on your hamburger?'. As you are waiting, the waiter may reassure you 'Your hamburger will be ready in a minute'. In bringing a bottle of ketchup to the table, the waiter may say 'Here is some ketchup for your hamburger'. In these cases, the use of your is entirely unproblematic, as there is a straightforward sense in which the hamburger is yours, even though it is not yet in front of you. Nevertheless, it should be noted that your is usually not necessary in these locutions, as it is obvious from the context which hamburger is referred to; the would have been sufficient. By using your, instead of the, the waiter brings to your attention, that the hamburger is being made specially for you, that care is being taken to ensure that it precisely satisfies your wishes.

The car salesperson's use of your may be an extension of the waiter's. Although the car is, obviously, not really built specially for you, the salesperson may be trying to create the impression that the designers anticipated your wishes, and have made the car in accordance with these wishes, as if they were making it specially for you. They knew, the salesperson would like you to think, that you have always wanted a rear-window heater that works in just this way, and, lo and behold, they have built the car with precisely such a rear-window heater. By referring to the features of the car as yours, the salesperson may be suggesting that they satisfy your wishes.

It is, however, unlikely that these intentions, or any that are articulated in other answers in this page, are consciously present in the mind of every particular salesperson who speaks that way. Many of them unthinkingly pick up that way of speaking from other salespersons, who picked it up from other salespersons, and so forth. Any answer to this question that may be given here, is thus bound to be a somewhat speculative attempt at a reconstruction of what may have been on the minds of whoever started the practice.

jsw29
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