1

Is either wrong?
What's your take on the difference?

I'm writing my first story and have an editor who has been great. I'm going through their edits and changing my draft as per their suggestions.

One thing I'd like to check is the grammar/phrasing:

"He was chopping the onions with a professional efficiency."
- vs -
"He was chopping the onions with professional efficiency."

Is either of these wrong? And if you can explain, what's your take on the difference, if any?

Laurel
  • 66,382
AlexParson
  • 29
  • 2
    "He was chopping onions with professional efficiency." I believe that is the more correct version of the statement. I don't believe there is much of a difference between the two, but the second has a better flow and eliminates the unnecessary article. However, I admit I could be wrong. –  May 16 '22 at 04:33
  • 2
    Interesting question. I feel like there might be slightly more emphasis on "professional" in "a professional efficiency". Without "professional" in the mix, I'd definitely say it's "with efficiency", but on the other hand, it could be "with an efficiency you wouldn't believe". -- I suppose it could also be a difference similar to adding "mushed banana" (some amount of the mushy substance) vs "a mushed banana" (one, mushed) in a recipe. – towr May 16 '22 at 06:01
  • If I wrote one, and the editor wanted the other, I'd consider the edit childish, but go along. If I wanted to edit someone else's sentence, I'd hold myself back from such a minute correction. Just sayin. – Yosef Baskin May 17 '22 at 21:19
  • It's a matter of tone. – Hot Licks May 17 '22 at 21:42

2 Answers2

0

In short: The first sentence describes, while the second sentence asks for clarification.

That is, if someone doesn't know what "professional efficiency" means, they're out of luck. But the "a professional efficiency" sentence is fundamentally ambiguous, such that it begs for more information. If what is given above are the two complete sentences, then I would pick the second choice. However, if you add more description on what kind of professional efficiency it is, then the first one works just as well, depending on what you want to say.

0

“With professional efficiency” means to perform some task with the skill expected of a professional in the field.

“With a professional efficiency” means associated with a studio apartment suitable as the home of a professional in some field.

Michael Lorton
  • 28,092