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I understand the difference and the explanations. Who is as a subject, and whom is as an object. However, in every day conversation it takes me longer than I care to admit to figure out which is the proper one to use. Are there any quick and simple rules, tips, tricks, or methods to identify which is appropriate, who or whom? I have done my Googling but have yet to come across a method that doesn’t leave me questioning myself after the fact. Clarification- this is in regards to conversation, not necessarily writing because then I can take the extra second to think about it.

schubiedoobydoo
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    "it takes me longer than I care to admit to figure out which is the proper one to use" - the best approach then is just to stick to using "who", most people won't even notice. – KillingTime Mar 19 '23 at 11:11
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    If you still want to "correctly" use *whom* occasionally, the "quick and dirty" rule is just *Use "whom" after a preposition*. – FumbleFingers Mar 19 '23 at 11:22
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    Of the answers there, I agree most with: "Whom remains in significant use following a preposition" but use in objective case is moribund. – Laurel Mar 19 '23 at 11:22
  • It was many years ago,but apparently besides upvoting the "moribund" answer, I also upvoted the one that says *When in doubt, use who.* But looking again, I see no reason not to also upvote the one saying *See if the "answer" would use "he" or "him".* That's a pretty easy rule. – FumbleFingers Mar 19 '23 at 11:38
  • There is no simple rule. If you really want to use whom, the best bet is to practice, compare with similar sentences you've practiced, and eventually you'll pick it up. But it's hard to practice something when most people seldom or never do it - we learn language largely by hearing and repeating. – Stuart F Mar 19 '23 at 11:40
  • @FumbleFingers well, the usual reason for ignoring a duff rule: it doesn’t work! – Araucaria - Him Mar 19 '23 at 21:03

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