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I am having trouble phrasing some of my thoughts into a decent sounding sentence. I particularly do not like the use of and twice: I believe this may make the sentence a run-on. Also in previous English classes I have been advised against using and twice in one sentence. Can anyone suggest how to express the same thought in one sentence without creating a run-on?

Growth of the Hispanic population within the US will increase their presence within the workforce, creating new opportunities and challenges for Hispanics and their employers.

tchrist
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kmb385
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  • I almost closed this as a proofreading question, which is off-topic, but if you point out precisely where you need help (like not liking the use of "and" twice), I think it's acceptable. – Daniel Mar 22 '12 at 14:57
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    @Danielδ I'm new to the forum, but I use Stack Overflow a decent amount, so I understand. I do not know the "technical terminology" of the English language, therefore it really limits my ability to ask a question. I will revise. – kmb385 Mar 22 '12 at 15:02
  • I'm not sure what's being asked here. As Daniel says, it's not a run-on, and there's nothing else wrong. I'm voting to close as "too localised". – FumbleFingers Mar 22 '12 at 15:13

2 Answers2

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It's not a run-on, and I think it's already phrased decently. A run-on sentence connects two or more separate sentences without anything in between (or with only a comma separating the clauses). Your example sentence is one complete thought, and therefore not a run-on. Wikipedia (linked above) has these examples of run-ons:

A run-on sentence, with no punctuation or conjunction between "gas" and "we":

  • My car is out of gas we cannot reach town before dark.

A comma splice, which is considered a run-on sentence in English by some usage experts:

  • It is nearly half past five, we cannot reach town before dark.

As to the matter of two and's, there are different "levels" of and. If you regard the words in brackets as one term each, you see that the and's are not connecting sentences; they're connecting nouns:

Growth of the Hispanic population within the US will increase their presence within the workforce, creating new [opportunities and challenges] for [Hispanics and their employers].

It's a good thing to be sensitive to too many and's, and it is considered bad form to connect several independent clauses with and's, even if it's not technically a run-on, and this sentence could get hard to read if I keep using and's to connect separate thoughts, and that's what you need to beware of.

Community
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Daniel
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  • Thanks for pointing this out, it adds a new sentence structure to my arsenal. I couldn't get past looking at the actual words on the page and seeing their high level meaning. – kmb385 Mar 22 '12 at 15:15
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You could use "as well as", but it's fairly clear in its present form as well. Also, splitting that particular sentence into two would be fine since it does contain two complete but related statements. However, you should be careful with your use of the pronoun "their" as yours is currently ambiguous. It could refer to the USA or the Hispanic workforce.

Wisteso
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