Who knows why it's used "so much". How much? How much is it used where? In all genres and cultures? Or just some? Is it used much on American country & western songs? Elbonian polka songs? The note is most probably used in some very speficic genres and cultures where people like and tolerate what it does.
Here are my personal and subjective reasons to use the 9th / 2nd scale note over minor chords:
- It adds a bit of texture and harmonic thickness without creating tension or pushing towards another chord. You can add it anywhere and it kind of seems to do something without doing anything "functional".
- It sounds slightly unexpected and jazzy in some contexts, but not too weird to alienate most people. If you add the 9th in a song that's usually not played like that, it makes it sound "different".
- In a melody or solo it can add melancholic feeling, because it's away from home. Not too close like a flat 9th would be (which not only demands harmonic motion but also adds plain "sensory dissonance"), but somehow close enough that you could stay there just as well as move.
- When added over a minor chord on the 3rd scale degree (of the major scale, e.g. C#m in your example song), a 9th adds a bit of "outside" or modal alteration feel, but very lightly and temporarily.
- In a melody or solo you can safely add a 9th over any minor chord, to create the effects mentioned above, so it's good for soloing. It doesn't add anything functional, so it won't disturb or distract the harmonic progression.
- A minor chord's 9th is the same note as the relative major's maj7, and it seems to bring a bit of the same effect. For example in Am vs C, the B note is Am's 9th, but C's maj7. Let the B ring, it can be a glue note.
I think a lot of the above could also be said about adding a 9th to major chords as well.
And almost the same applies to adding an 11th to minor chords. It sits there nicely, adding texture without doing much. For major chords, it can clash a bit with the third, but for minor chords it doesn't.
Here's a nice chord progression that uses some of the stuff above.

Additional notes create texture and melancholic feeling, but it's still just F Dm Bb C. (By the way, the added 11th on the C chord doesn't seem to clash with the third at all. IMO)