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How come we talk to random strangers while traveling from place A to place B, Its easy to talk to strangers asking for direction but there are few neighbors, I know them for a decade now but haven't had a conversation till now. Is this the fear of initiating the conversation??

  • This might be a question that is more relevant on psychology and neuroscience SE. https://psychology.stackexchange.com/ Welcome in any case. – Frank Hubeny Sep 02 '18 at 17:42
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    https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/ would be the perfect place for this. I've asked mods to migrate. –  Sep 02 '18 at 20:53
  • @Frank Hubeny: Why so - isn't this an aspect of alienation? – Mozibur Ullah Sep 03 '18 at 22:05
  • @barrycarter: ditto - see comment above. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 03 '18 at 22:05
  • @MoziburUllah These other sites may be able to give a better answer. -- I just saw you answer. I think one could answer the question here, but on these other sites there may be research studies that are better known and could be cited. – Frank Hubeny Sep 03 '18 at 22:16
  • @Frank Hubeny: Well for sure the question isn't well written but I do think it raises important and interesting questions that could be answered from a variety of viewpoints. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 03 '18 at 22:23
  • Your question is presently on hold, but my philosophical idea about it is that we tend to feel safer speaking to people from whom we can easily feel detached. With neighbors we usually can't be as carefree, because we must anticipate seeing them (or at least their homes) often on a daily basis and they know where to find us, whether we want them to or not. Sharing closer quarters requires far more diplomacy, respect, and thoughtfulness in our interactions with neighbors, because we can't just walk or move away from them in case something should go wrong. – Bread Sep 03 '18 at 22:30
  • I ask whether other sites more fitting to your problem may accept a mitigation. As it stands, it is not at all clear what this should have to do with philosophy. Psychology (if that is a coined term there) and interpersonal skills look more promising if you look for help in this problem. – Philip Klöcking Sep 04 '18 at 14:54

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It could be cultural.

I was reading a book on Africa where the author (who was white British) pointed out that people barely acknowledge each other's presence or say hello in London and when native Africans were told this they were shocked and incredulous at such a basic lack of human decency:

Back at home in London I sometimes ask visiting Africans what strikes them most about the way Londoners live. Suni Umar, a journalist from Sokoto in Northern Nigeria, gives a typical answer: 'People walk so fast. And they do not talk to each other. I came to the office in London and the people working there did not even greet me or each other.' And the most puzzling thing? 'I was lost and I walked up to a man and asked the way. He did not reply. He did not even look at me. He just walked away. Like that.'

When Suni goes back to Nigeria and tells that tale they will not believe him. There they know that some Europeans are not kind to Africans but to be so trivially inhuman to each other is shocking.

Even on London or New York or Paris, Africans do not easily lose the habit of catching your eye as you pass. Raise an eyebrow in greeting and a flicker of a smile starts on their lips. A small thing? No. It is the prize that Africa offers the rest of the world: humanity.

Africa: Altered States, Ordinary Miracles - Richard Dowden

Here's a more personal anecdote. I was doing a physics class at a well respected college in London. And during the classroom you could hear a pin drop. At one point a member of staff came in and said - try to speak to each other. After she left there was a minutes hubbub of conversation as people tried to make conversation with their neighbours and then they lapsed back into tongue-tied silence.

It would be interesting to work out why. Is it due to the nature of competition for example? Or perhaps due to the atomisation of society (aka flexibility) in order to make it more 'efficient'? Or just indoctrination by an education system that doesn't promote interaction because they're so busy cramming students heads? How does the nature of education change when so many facts can be looked up rather than memorised?

Also it's worth pointing out that both Marx and Hegel theorised on alienation and this might have some bearing upon this question.

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  • It would be nice to know what the down vote was for - as the answer is consonant with the question. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 03 '18 at 22:03
  • Because the question is clearly off topic and writing an answer to it only promotes the idea that it's a good question for the site. – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 12:36
  • @not_here: Like I've pointed out alienation is a common theme in 20C philosophy. Can you tell me why alienation is not on-topic on a site to do with philosophy, broadly construed? – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 12:40
  • The question is not asking a philosophical question about alienation, the question is asking an explicit interpersonal skills question about how to talk to people. You are giving an entirely too generous reading of the question. I agree that, broadly construed, alienation can be a philosophical topic (although its closer to the other social sciences such as sociology and psychology, to be honest), but this question was not engaging the topic from that angle, it was asking for interpersonal advice. Again, you were too generous in reading your own interpretation into what was being asked. – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 12:52
  • @Not_here: If someone doesn't know the term alienation and nor is philosophically educated then it stands to reason that a question by such a person on this topic won't be construed in this way. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 12:57
  • That is an opinion, I think it's incorrect and it seems that the community largely agreed that it is incorrect. You asked for me to explain why I downvoted, I gave you the answer. – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 13:32
  • @Not_here: It's not an opinion - it's an argued position - if you want to disagree with it then that's fine with me. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 14:06
  • I think you need to reexamine the definition of the word opinion – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 14:20
  • @Not_here: I gave a reasoned and justified position - that's not just an opinion. An opinion would be something as simple as saying: you're wrong. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 14:24
  • Nope, the definition of an opinion is not that limited, it extends to cover both. What I was drawing attention to is the fact that what you said was not a definitively true statement, it was an opinion, which falls under exactly what you just described. You're upset that somebody disliked your answer, this question, and the fact that you responded to it so you're trying to argue semantics with me. It literally does not matter what you want to call your opinion on whether or not this question is on topic here, it is not on topic as decided by the community. – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 14:28
  • @Not_Here: It's interesting - do you not think - that the judgement delivered by a judge in a court case is called an opinion? I never said that my argued position was definitively true - that's your opinion - and not justified when you look at what I wrote. For sure, it could be more elaborated and more nuanced, in particular in the age of social media where it's very easy to eavesdrop, copy and play the bad actor one has to be more cautious. It was once the consensus that the earth was flat - so much for consensus. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 14:47
  • Lmao you're doing exactly what I just called you out for doing, deflected from my actual criticism that the question is bad and harping on a semantic argument about the word "opinion", which you just contradicted yourself in by the way. So, a judge's opinion is an opinion, but what you did that I called an opinion earlier is not an opinion? How dense are you? Do you even read the words that you type? "I never said that my argued position was definitively true - that's your opinion" Lmao, no, that is not at all my opinion, in fact that is the exact opposite of my opinion. – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 15:18
  • If you took two seconds to actually read the words that I'm typing you'd understand what is going on. The question is a bad question, you read too much into it, the question was closed for being off topic, you're upset that someone disliked your answer, and you couldn't let it go so you're arguing with them about the definition of the word "opinion" because you have nothing else to do in the conversation. What a miserable existence. – Not_Here Sep 04 '18 at 15:20
  • @Not_here: I've read your words. I'm not sure that you've read mine as you're not really responding to them. You're the one who brought up the 'definition of an opinion'. But who cares about facts when you've got the power to assert your opinion as though it is fact? – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 16:14
  • @Not_here: Do you mind if I quote you? 'I think you need to re-examine the definition of opinion.' – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 16:19
  • @Not_here: What I'm upset about is the avoidance of questions of substance in favour of various forms of pedantry. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 16:39
  • @not_here: What is actually and ontologically miserable is the reinvention of the status quo and no actual change. You know what the Buddha said: be the change you wish to inspire. No. Of course, I know he didn't say that. – Mozibur Ullah Sep 04 '18 at 16:55
  • Maybe you should post a question properly framing a discussion about alienation? – CriglCragl Sep 04 '18 at 22:16