Not everyone thinks free will exists, and from personal experience I don't find freedom of will in my actions or emotions(I suppose I am assuming that's where it's located). It was once something I believed in, but now I don't.
If free will exists, how might this be possible?
It seems contradictory to me that I might not be aware of my most substantial vehicle of control. How could one say that I am in control of something, if I don't even know it exists. How do I use it? Maybe I stopped having it when I stopped believing in it, but I don't remember free will then either. Maybe my true self is beyond thought or experience? I guess there are a lot of ways you could explain this pseudo paradox, how do you?
EDIT: Changed the title in order to holistically reflect the body of the question.